Little known facts about me.

The answers to the ten questions I get asked most often. Your mission is to determine what those questions are.

  1. I write my name in the snow with it.
  2. Yes. An old pussy with short, black hair.
  3. She uses a long strap to hold it up with.
  4. Yes, but I was young and needed the money.
  5. Several times. Getting it from the back hurt the most.
  6. Yes. She often ends up licking mine, too.
  7. I stopped doing that. I heard you can go blind.
  8. I kept him locked in a cage with his friends, down in my basement. One by one, he watched in horror as I fed his friends to a reptile.
  9. Once I walked in on my sister and her boyfriend doing it.
  10. Yes, but I’m pretty sure she was dead when I did that to her.
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29 Replies to “Little known facts about me.”

  1. Dave–you’ve got your holy and unholy numbers mixed up. 12 is a holy number: 12 tribes, 12 types of stone in the New Jerusalem (Heaven as described in Revelations, chapter 20+). As for the sixes, Revelations says that 666 is the number of the beast, but it didn’t specify which beast, so it is a little vague.

    I once worked for Citibank in St. Louis. There were two buildings: one at 670 Mason Ridge Drive, and the other at 666 Mason Ridge Drive. We were hiring in our department, and one day we got a call from our prospective interviewee. She was calling from the gas station just down the way, refusing to come to the interview because she “could never work under the sign of the beast!” My boss told her that 666 was supposed to be the Antichrist’s name, not his address. Then he called her a stupid bitch.

    Personally, I laughed my ass off. 😆

  2. 1. Why are you walking around with that midget?
    2. Do you have any prized possesions?
    3. How did you and your girlfriend deal with your impotence problem?
    4. I heard you used to be a puppeteer, it that true?
    5. Have you ever cried when you got a shot?
    6. Does your cat lick everyones’ belly botton?
    7. Do you still in the custom of licking your cat’s belly button?
    8. What did you do with the real Davezilla?
    9. What really turns you on?
    10. Did you enjoy taking the picture of that old lady in daisy dukes?

    Link: The most entertaining part of that article, besides all the oh-so-clever 666/devil jokes, was the fact that there is some guy who calls himself Smitty.

    Happy birthday Master Solace!

  3. 1. What does Dave do with the blood of his enemies?
    I write my name in the snow with it.

    2. Going for the obvious, since Natalie is a young redhead: Do you have a pet?
    Yes. An old pussy with short, black hair.

    3. Natalie’s camera?
    She uses a long strap to hold it up with.

    4. We all know you did pr0n, Dave. We have the DVDs.
    Yes, but I was young and needed the money.

    5. Did you make friends in prison?
    Several times. Getting it from the back hurt the most.

    6. Do you give ice cream to your cat?
    Yes. She often ends up licking mine, too.

    7. Do you poke yourself in the eyes?
    I stopped doing that. I heard you can go blind.

    8. What do you do with spare Republicans?
    I kept him locked in a cage with his friends, down in my basement. One by one, he watched in horror as I fed his friends to a reptile.

    9. Ever play chess?
    Once I walked in on my sister and her boyfriend doing it.

    10. Uhhhhh
    Yes, but I’m pretty sure she was dead when I did that to her. :dead:

  4. I’m sure I could come up with some very good questions, I’m sure, really I am. But it’s just too much trouble on this beautiful, warm, sunny, gorgeous, summer day.

  5. Im confused. Is this supposed to be like Jeopardy??Wheres Alex Trebek???AAAAAHHHHH!!!! AND its 6/6/06. Im going to go somewhere and hide. Happy end of the world everyone!!! 👿

  6. 1. Why do you own an automatic rifle?
    I write my name in the snow with it.

    2. Do you likw Al Gore? How would you describe him?
    Yes. An old pussy with short, black hair.

    3. Does Hillary Clinton have a penis?
    She uses a long strap to hold it up with.

    4. Have you ever worked for the Democratic party?
    Yes, but I was young and needed the money.

    5. Have you ever carried a “boulder of shame”?
    Several times. Getting it from the back hurt the most.

    6. Does Natalie still lick stamps 20 times – hoping for an LSD high?
    Yes. She often ends up licking mine, too.

    7. Do you drink anti-freeze and bleach?
    I stopped doing that. I heard you can go blind.

    8. What did you do with my pet hamster?
    I kept him locked in a cage with his friends, down in my basement. One by one, he watched in horror as I fed his friends to a reptile.

    9. Have you ever prayed to God?
    Once I walked in on my sister and her boyfriend doing it.

    10. Did you grope Janet Reno?
    Yes, but I’m pretty sure she was dead when I did that to her.

    😛

  7. 1. What do you do when your penis has caught fire?
    I write my name in the snow with it.
    2. Can you describe Dubya?
    Yes. An old pussy with short, black hair.
    3. When Dick Cheney is in drag, how does s/he keep the dildo on?
    She uses a long strap to hold it up with.
    4. Have you ever done with a Republican?
    Yes, but I was young and needed the money.
    5. Have you ever been in a car accident?
    Several times. Getting it from the back hurt the most.
    6. Have you ever licked the toes of a female mime?
    Yes. She often ends up licking mine, too.
    7. Do you pour bleach in your eyes after you post disturbing pictures?
    I stopped doing that. I heard you can go blind.
    8. What did you do with Jimmy Hoffa?
    I kept him locked in a cage with his friends, down in my basement. One by one, he watched in horror as I fed his friends to a reptile.
    9. Ever force-fed apples to a squid?
    Once I walked in on my sister and her boyfriend doing it.
    10. Do you eat cow?
    Yes, but I’m pretty sure she was dead when I did that to her.
    :dead:

  8. First I want to give a shout out to my good friend Satan on his big day, Yo big guy whatz up! 👿

    Q: What do you do with the blood of those who spam the great Zilla?
    A I write my name in the snow with it.

    Q: Do you have nightmares about anything and if so what?
    A: Yes. An old pussy with short, black hair.

    Q: Is it true the trany you dated was well hung?
    A:She uses a long strap to hold it up with.

    Q: Did you ever sell Lemmonaide?
    A:Yes, but I was young and needed the money.

    Q: Is it true when you asked Mandy to go Anal with you she said yes but you go first? What was it like?
    A:Several times. Getting it from the back hurt the most.

    Q: Do you enjoy getting icecream together?
    A:Yes. She often ends up licking mine, too.

    Q: Do you still stare into the sun till your eyes burn out of your head?
    A: I stopped doing that. I heard you can go blind.

    Q: What ever happend to the Johny guy who pissed you off?
    A: I kept him locked in a cage with his friends, down in my basement. One by one, he watched in horror as I fed his friends to a reptile.

    Q:Have you ever seen a game of naked jello twister?
    A: Once I walked in on my sister and her boyfriend doing it.

    Q: Have you ever had sex with spud?
    A:Yes, but I’m pretty sure she was dead when I did that to her.

  9. First I want to give a shout out to my good friend Satan on his big day, Yo big guy whatz up! 👿

    Q: What do you do with the blood of those who spam the great Zilla?
    A I write my name in the snow with it.

    Q: Do you have nightmares about anything and if so what?
    A: Yes. An old pussy with short, black hair.

    Q: Is it true the trany you dated was well hung?
    A:She uses a long strap to hold it up with.

    Q: Did you ever sell Lemonade?
    A:Yes, but I was young and needed the money.

    Q: Is it true when you asked Mandy to go Anal with you she said yes but you go first? What was it like?
    A:Several times. Getting it from the back hurt the most.

    Q: Do you enjoy getting ice cream together?
    A:Yes. She often ends up licking mine, too.

    Q: Do you still stare into the sun till your eyes burn out of your head?
    A: I stopped doing that. I heard you can go blind.

    Q: What ever happened to the Johny guy who pissed you off?
    A: I kept him locked in a cage with his friends, down in my basement. One by one, he watched in horror as I fed his friends to a reptile.

    Q:Have you ever seen a game of naked jello twister?
    A: Once I walked in on my sister and her boyfriend doing it.

    Q: Have you ever had sex with spud?
    A:Yes, but I’m pretty sure she was dead when I did that to her.

  10. I don;t really have a whole lot to say at the moment. I will say congrats to the devil himself on his special day of satan!! 👿

  11. Well, 06/06/06 is almost over with and the Dark One hasn’t taken over yet, guess it was just another one of those “Millenium” scares. :java:

  12. Dave , sorry this is off topic but do you know whats up with Tamityville: The Horror ? All I can get is a picture of a baby eating something red .

  13. 1. Do you have a laser pen?
    I write my name in the snow with it.

    2. Do you know anyone from Albania?
    Yes. An old pussy with short, black hair.

    3. What does Cheney’s wife do with (his) Dick?
    She uses a long strap to hold it up with.

    4. You clowned around with that midget from the circus, didn’t you?
    Yes, but I was young and needed the money.

    5. Have you had any boils?
    Several times. Getting it from the back hurt the most.

    6. Does Natalie lick her fingers?
    Yes. She often ends up licking mine, too.

    7. Do you cross your eyes and stick out your tongue at the same time?!
    I stopped doing that. I heard you can go blind.

    8. So, whatever happened to that Toho lawyer?
    I kept him locked in a cage with his friends, down in my basement. One by one, he watched in horror as I fed his friends to a reptile.

    9. Have you ever watched anyone clean the bathroom grout with one hand while brushing their teeth with the other?
    Once I walked in on my sister and her boyfriend doing it.

    10. Tried to jolt the car battery into action?
    Yes, but I’m pretty sure she was dead when I did that to her.

  14. It was a bloody great idea, garnered some terrific responses and as usual, I was to lazy to reply in full.

    The world will end on the 7/7/7 because of my failure.

  15. 1. What do you use amonium nitrate for?
    I write my name in the snow with it.
    2. Do you have a mother-in-law and if so, what is she like?
    Yes. An old pussy with short, black hair.
    3. What does she use for support?
    She uses a long strap to hold it up with. :boob: :boob:
    4. Didn’t you used to wash windshields on the street?
    Yes, but I was young and needed the money?
    5. Have you ever had an itch you couldn’t scratch?
    Several times. Getting it from the back hurt the most.
    6. Does your dog lick toes?
    Yes. She often ends up licking mine too.
    7. Do you still throw broken shards of glass at your face?
    I stopped doing that. I heard you could go blind.
    8. Do you know what ever happened to Bob Saget and the rest of the “Full House” cast?
    I kept him locked in a cage with his friends, down in my basement. One by one, he watched in horror as I fed his friends to a reptile.
    9. Have you ever seen how they get the caramel inside a Caramilk bar?
    Once I walked in on my sister and her boyfriend doing it.
    10. Have you ever plucked a chicken?
    Yes, but I’m pretty sure she was dead when I did that to her.

  16. 1. Why do own two hot glue guns?
    —I write my name in the snow with it.

    2. Have you ever met Janet Reno? What do you think of her?
    —Yes. An old pussy with short, black hair.

    3. What is your alternative to Viagra?
    —She uses a long strap to hold it up with.

    4. Have you ever been a sperm donor?
    —Yes, but I was young and needed the money.

    5. Have you ever been touched by a 10-foot pole?
    —Several times. Getting it from the back hurt the most.

    6. Does Natalie ever finish her ice cream before you?
    —Yes. She often ends up licking mine, too.

    7. Have you ever sat and stared at the sun for long periods of time?
    —I stopped doing that. I heard you can go blind.

    8. Why is President Boy George so screwed up?
    —I kept him locked in a cage with his friends, down in my basement. One by one, he watched in horror as I fed his friends to a reptile.

    9. Ever witness a bad game of Charades?
    —Once I walked in on my sister and her boyfriend doing it.

    10. Ever put makeup on a woman?
    —Yes, but I’m pretty sure she was dead when I did that to her

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