The Bruise Fairy

The Bruise FairyOn Saturday, Natalie woke up with a sizable bruise on her inner thigh. I know. I thought the same thing. No. It was one of those phantom bruises that appear on the female anatomy without any discernable cause.

Spontaneous Generation? Hardly. There is a much simpler and far more scientific explanation. The Bruise Fairy. He appears at night, lifts up the covers and, after ogling you a bit, gives your thighs, arms and bum and long hard pinch or three. No woman is safe from his oversized grip and famed left hook.

Does anyone else have any Bruise Fairytales to share?

free viagra
buy viagra online
generic viagra
how does viagra work
cheap viagra
buy viagra
buy viagra online inurl
viagra 6 free samples
viagra online
viagra for women
viagra side effects
female viagra
natural viagra
online viagra
cheapest viagra prices
herbal viagra
alternative to viagra
buy generic viagra
purchase viagra online
free viagra without prescription
viagra attorneys
free viagra samples before buying
buy generic viagra cheap
viagra uk
generic viagra online
try viagra for free
generic viagra from india
fda approves viagra
free viagra sample
what is better viagra or levitra
discount generic viagra online
viagra cialis levitra
viagra dosage
viagra cheap
viagra on line
best price for viagra
free sample pack of viagra
viagra generic
viagra without prescription
discount viagra
gay viagra
mail order viagra
viagra inurl
generic viagra online paypal
generic viagra overnight
generic viagra online pharmacy
generic viagra uk
buy cheap viagra online uk
suppliers of viagra
how long does viagra last
viagra sex
generic viagra soft tabs
generic viagra 100mg
buy viagra onli
generic viagra online without prescription
viagra energy drink
cheapest uk supplier viagra
viagra cialis
generic viagra safe
viagra professional
viagra sales
viagra free trial pack
viagra lawyers
over the counter viagra
best price for generic viagra
viagra jokes
buying viagra
viagra samples
viagra sample
generic cialis
cheapest cialis
buy cialis online
buying generic cialis
cialis for order
what are the side effects of cialis
buy generic cialis
what is the generic name for cialis
cheap cialis
cialis online
buy cialis
cialis side effects
how long does cialis last
cialis forum
cialis lawyer ohio
cialis attorneys
cialis attorney columbus
cialis injury lawyer ohio
cialis injury attorney ohio
cialis injury lawyer columbus
prices cialis
cialis lawyers
viagra cialis levitra
cialis lawyer columbus
online generic cialis
daily cialis
cialis injury attorney columbus
cialis attorney ohio
cialis cost
cialis professional
cialis super active
how does cialis work
what does cialis look like
cialis drug
viagra cialis
cialis to buy new zealand
cialis without prescription
free cialis
cialis soft tabs
discount cialis
cialis generic
generic cialis from india
cheap cialis sale online
cialis daily
cialis reviews
cialis generico
how can i take cialis
cheap cialis si
cialis vs viagra
generic levitra
levitra attorneys
what is better viagra or levitra
viagra cialis levitra
levitra side effects
buy levitra
levitra online
levitra dangers
how does levitra work
levitra lawyers
what is the difference between levitra and viagra
levitra versus viagra
which works better viagra or levitra
buy levitra and overnight shipping
levitra vs viagra
canidan pharmacies levitra
how long does levitra last
viagra cialis levitra
levitra acheter
comprare levitra
levitra ohne rezept
levitra 20mg
levitra senza ricetta
cheapest generic levitra
levitra compra
cheap levitra
levitra overnight
levitra generika
levitra kaufen


  1. Esther

    As I type this, I currently have 2-3 small bruises on my lower left thigh. I also have a couple on my right, along with a rather large one, close to my knee. The big one can most likely be attributed to a battle with my luggage on Wednesday. The others, I wish I could blame on naked people fun. However, they showed up a couple of days ago, with me having done nothing but sleep, maybe work, eat, and watch ‘Deadwood’ and ‘X-Files’ since last Thursday.

    The Bruise Fairy is a regular around here.:evil:

  2. JFLY

    And all along I’ve been blaming those bruises on my husband’s bony hips… :wang:

  3. No bruise fairy here – thank goodness – but damn, your caricature rocks. I’d cover his scrawny crotch, though. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  4. Spud

    As my nickname in life, not net is Bruiser I can only say…

    T’was not moi!

    Plus I’m not bony, more curvascous thanks very much.

    Clever idea though and great cartoon.


  5. Lace Valentine

    The bruise fairies (or Blue Fey as they call themselves as a whole) exist in seven hierarchies, from most powerful bruising to minor scrapes, these are:

    Purplish Pucks ๐Ÿ˜•
    The Knucklim ๐Ÿ‘ฟ
    Slap Fairies :wtf:
    The Yellowael ๐Ÿ˜ก
    Funnybone Fey :wang:
    BugaBoo-Boos ๐Ÿ˜
    The Frogger Fairies ๐Ÿ™

    The best way to insure no bruising in the midst of sleep is to leave a bowl of bread pudding in your room–but it must be cooked with ambiguous love, and then cooled to room temperature and left on the sill. The Blue Fey often pull the tails of cats.

  6. Kirk

    OMG….Lace Valentine ROCKS!

    Being gay, I wish the straight world would stop blaming all these destructive behaviors on fairies! ๐Ÿ˜›

  7. Mandy

    Can we please drag the ZOOM quilt over his icky little :limp:?

  8. Mandy

    BTW, the Bruise Faery seems to have a liking for my right arm. Two small yellow ones. ๐Ÿ™

  9. Esther

    Damn, I need some of them Slap Fairies here at work!

    Does it have to be bread pudding, Lace? Will mini Butterfinger Crisps do?

  10. No stories about the bruise fairy, but I have had some experiences with the Damn-My-Back-is-Scratched Sprite and the Lipstick-on-my-collar Gnome, both of which have existed in my family for years, starting with my Dad.

  11. jen

    I’m pretty once you turn 30 pimples are brought by some sort of fictional winged something good or bad. Bad methinks as everytime i manage to get a job interview I get a HUGE one in the smack middle of my chin, forehead, bridge of my nose.. BIG PIMPLE! :boobs: yeah about that big…

  12. I’m more frequently visited by the Scratch Fairy, which leaves red lines across my shoulders or lower back.

  13. enfanta

    I want the pinch fairy on a tee-shirt! Too cool!

  14. LOL…at last, you discovered the bastard!! That little shit stalks me, I want him brought up on assault charges.

  15. lol@Lace Valentine. I actually believed that was real stuff and true because I read it on ๐Ÿ˜•

  16. Anonymous

    Okay, so you’ve found the Bruise Fairy. Now who’s the bastard who keeps unbuttoning my nightgown in the middle of the night? The TittySniffler? The BoobyDrooler? The KnockerNuzzler?

    What? You say it’s my horny husband?

    You don’t say!

    Okay, well…..nevermind.

  17. TinaMarie

    That last comment was not anonymous at all! I am TINAMARIE, slut queen of my cul-de-sac! Behold my smut and adore me!

    That is all.

  18. julie

    The Bruise Fairy looks like Howard Jones.

  19. Anna

    Here in the Nether Lands we have these shin bruises …. must be from the clogg-fairy …. when he tries to jump up and grab the :boobs::boobs:
    I suffer from “I will try to hump you any way I can”-dogs bruises.
    (I feel a need to explain. I walk with my dogs in the woods close to my house. And there are alot of friendly dogs walking around too, who love to jump up against you. NOOO, I don’t have kinky sex!! well … not THAT kinky)

  20. Now whoรขโ‚ฌโ„ขs the bastard who keeps unbuttoning my nightgown in the middle of the night?
    Sorry, that was me. ๐Ÿ˜ณ

  21. em

    The bruise fairy is always picking on me, but this weekend he went TOO FAR and gave me an enormous cut on my arm too, that looks like I’ve tried to amputate it and failed. Why?! Where did it come from? Who knows…:undies:

  22. :boobs:
    thats where mine is right now!! Now I know who to blame, instead of a certain someone who shall remain nameless ๐Ÿ˜†

Comments are closed