Sarah Marshall? Forgotten. Big Giant Geek Penis? Sadly, Never.

So a few of my friends saw the movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall awhile ago and said that it was really, really funny. How could it not be, especially since it was penned by the same guys that did 40 Year Old Virgin (which was the only Steve Carrell movie until Get Smart that I will admit exists) and Superbad. These are some seriously witty, comedic films that manage to mix it up in terms of pacing. You don’t feel like you should be laughing your ass off all the time, and you aren’t checking your watch going ‘When the hell was the last time I laughed?’

They also warned me about Geek Penis.

Sorry, the rest of this frame is all my penis, and we ran out of room. I am really, really sorry. Really. PSYCHE! Look at this thing, it's like an effing anaconda!I told them BAH! I have seen many male junksacs in films, starting with Porky’s and ending with a movie I saw last night where the cable repair man came in to fix some problems with the television but wound up getting into some hilarious hijinks…. Since the people who saw the movie were quite a bit younger than I am and still giggle at fart noises (all right, so do I, but I’m older, and therefore, I am capable of enjoying things with wisdom and sagacity that makes the whole thing much more noble and respectable, so there) I automatically assumed that they were pretty much offput by the whole wang thing to begin with.

Wow. Was I wrong.

By a lot.

I can’t make up my mind how, exactly, I am shocked. We’ve got a guy who isn’t named Rod Rockhard McHammerstein up there wiggling his whacker for the whole world to see. He ain’t in great shape, but he’s not shaped like the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man after an all-night bender, either. For a dude like that to be naked (which, for a dude, is, well, you know … where the hell is the naked girl and the Barry Manilow tapes, right? Right?) … well, it’s risky.

So here’s my problem. The problem is, in itself, problematic, because technically, it shouldn’t even be a problem to begin with. It should be one of those mythical ‘non-issues’ you hear about that are solved automatically, like breathing, or blood continuing to pump through your veins.

This guy, this geek, has got a dong. It’s not John Homesian in stature. He won’t be engaging his services as an actor in the Gentlemanly Films Of Leisure any time soon, but dammitall, geeks shouldn’t be hung. I mean, I’m uncomfortable even saying this, right, but seriously.

I knew it was coming because he was having this shower and he was quite happy that his girlfriend was coming over, and then, out of nowhere, like a rabbit punch to the gut by a nun…


i tried to bob and weave to get the freakin’ thing out of my way but it was like one of those many headed hydras that Hercules fought. It was EVERYWHERE.

Maybe I’m exagerrating slightly. Ok, a lot. The shot only lasted a minute and was far less weird than some guy shoving his ballpeen through a hole in the shower wall (see Porky’s if you don’t believe me), but man, you gotta give a guy some lead time. Like, how about toss in some kind of conversation like this:

Sarah: So, I’m coming over now.

Peter: Awesome. I might be in the shower washing my gigantic hog. If I’m not out when you show up, wait a few minutes. Also, if there is screaming, it is because I am currently feeding it small albino pigs from Honduras.

Sarah: Excellent.

And so, in the fullness of time, I can prepare myself for Big Giant Geek Penis. It’s only fair.


  1. janeeto

    Dayuhm! I guess if I get the unedited, Super R rated version of this, I’ll keep it from my overly inquisitive nearly 16 year old daughter….

  2. Okay, let’s do a head count and see how many guys claim that they were the body double in the movie ….

    I’ll go first – no sloppy seconds for me. :wang:

  3. Eeeuuuwww.

    Anyone want to talk about boobs?

    Or how the new blue Zilla design is totally killing the funny vibe?

    Anything but giant geek dongs…


  4. junkman

    well speaking of john holmes…….he wasn’t exactly a looker! :geek:

  5. Char

    Thanks for the recommendation Dave. Now I know what DVD to rent this weekend! ๐Ÿ˜‰

  6. Um Lee,….. not so funny. Not even close. I love a big dick, like any other red blooded Zilla Girl….. but this, not so much. :limp:

  7. Drusky

    Janeeto expressed wishfull thinking by saying: Dayuhm! I guess if I get the unedited, Super R rated version of this, Iโ€™ll keep it from my overly inquisitive nearly 16 year old daughterโ€ฆ.

    Janeeto, being the painfully experienced father of teenagers, I’ll bet she’s already seen it… ๐Ÿ™

  8. Pervy1

    You thought that was big? Hmmm… how odd. 8)

  9. Don

    He shoulda waited for Sarah to get there, then he could feed it to her in the shower :wang: :wang: :wang:

  10. This is God’s way of making sure that everyone get’s a little nookie time. He gives guys with little peckers the ability to grow massive muscles and then assigns them an SUV which size is directly preportioned to the size of his willy. The smaller the penis, the bigger the SUV.

    Nerds and geeks need love, too, plus they have to breed and make little nerds and geeks who will someday fix my computer and come up with technology that will be obsolete before it hits the market. They drive small cars with everything they own in them.

    Heck, I thought this was common knowledge. Didn’t anyone see Revenge Of The Nerds?

    Geek = Good Lovin’

    That’s why they invented the internet. Porn, baby, porn!

  11. I don’t know if I can trust your judgment on this. I’ll add it to my NetFlix queue and let you know if I concur.

  12. Amy

    I didn’t think it was that abnormally huge when I saw it. Then again, the thing just kind of took me by surprise. I guess I’ll have to go back and watch it. You know, in the interest of science. ๐Ÿ˜ฎ

  13. evilmister, i read this post all the way through thinking it said GREEK :wang: and wondering why you thought greek boys had little danglers. ๐Ÿ˜ณ

  14. Giant geek penis? Well, I’ll just have to see that for myself then. ๐Ÿ˜› :wang:

  15. well, i never said it was large beyond all reason, i’m just sayin, you know. uh, that, well… WHAT? THE PHONE? FOR ME? OK!!!

  16. Ummm …. well, you did call it a big giant but between that and your comment about bobbing and weaving around it, you’ve pretty much killed your chances of dating a zillagirl. Sorry, dude no zilla :boob: s for you.

  17. Damn! Misplaced my avatar again. Anyone seen my smoking head recently? Anyone? Anyone?

  18. Drusky

    StevieC babbled this: Damn! Misplaced my avatar again. Anyone seen my smoking head recently? Anyone? Anyone?

    Zillagirls, any of you seen SteveC’s smoking head and lived to talk about it? :wang:

  19. Bigwavdave

    StevieC – I’ve been meaning to ask you…exactly what ARE you smokin’? ๐Ÿ˜‰

  20. Nothin’ with letters on it, that’s for sure (insert Truckin icon here)

  21. Chris

    dude dave.. thats what made it so awesome, normally doesnt happen (and for a good reason) and it takes u by surprise, therefore it was funny. plus u get to see that chick from that 70’s show boobs so it all evens out.

    that movie is also a great ass movie and it for sure one of my favorties, despite the naked men scenes, since u see it a few times throughout that movie

  22. That’s the smoke coming off his tongue after a week long retreat with me… :wang:

  23. Welcome back doll. As my gift to you, count up the number of weeks that you’ve been gone and that will be today’s number.

  24. Timm

    FYI: My nickname in high school was Tripod.

  25. Drusky

    [quote comment=”404374″]That’s the smoke coming off his tongue after a week long retreat with me… :wang:[/quote]

    Just his Tongue? :wang:
    StevieC, you luck SOB!

  26. wow…don’t know. Guess? 16??
    Just a nice innocent number with so much potential for nasty naughties. ๐Ÿ˜ˆ

  27. Actually, now that I’ve had time to think about it, I’ve always had a fondness for 18.

  28. Timm

    I’ve decided that my comment up there was too tacky.

  29. [quote comment=”405753″]I’ve decided that my comment up there was too tacky.[/quote]

    Ummm … not for this place.

Comments are closed