Open letter to Continental Airlines

Dear Continental,

First of all let me thank you for all the exciting new terms I learned this week, while traveling on your aircraft. News to me:

  1. I thought “departure” meant “the time the plane will leave”. I now know that it means, “the time we decide to announce that your plane will be two hours late.”
  2. I thought a “Priority” sticker on luggage meant it would arrive first. I now know that it means “Low Priority” and will arrive last on the baggage carousel.
  3. I thought “baggage handling” meant by humans, not Hellboy. I guess the old Samsonite ads were accurate.

thankyou-contintental.jpg

Once again, I thank you Continental, for this most informative flight.

Sincerely,
Davezilla

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20 Replies to “Open letter to Continental Airlines”

  1. Handled doesn’t quite look like the right word.

    Thrown, launched, rammed, dropped, run over, these are better words.

    :wtf:

  2. Okay, that was great… really… the dancing guy. And, cow cuddling. yes, cows are friends, NOT food! 😀

    Sorry you had a crappy flight. At least you have your luggage!!!

  3. Looks like your luggage was run over by the luggage truck.. 👿

    and wow cow cuddling, for stress relief therapy. I think that made my morning

  4. [Comment ID #80208 will be quoted here]

    There’s also “violated,” “decimated,” “kicked the shit out of,” “stomped on,” “beaten by a giant,” “ripped apart by vultures,” and “sent to Iraq for bomb testing.”

  5. Speaking as a former “baggage handler” A.K.A “ramper” for Continenal, I should tell you that it is to be expected. It takes a lot of imagination, kicking,and cussing to fit 400 cubic feet of luggage in 200 cu ft. of baggage hold. Also, “priority” simply means that your bag goes in last so it comes out first. In the real world it means that it is crammed in at the last moment and the cargo door is slammed on it. Upon arrival, the door is opened, your bag falls out, is run over by various equipment, and not noticed until that airplane is pushed back for its next flight.(the cubic measurements are approximations from memory.)

  6. the luggage looks as if Continental hired people from an Anger Management Therapy group to handle it. Gorgeous cat.

  7. Incontenental airlines – explains the rag the guy ahead of you had.

    The only other bit of advice I have comes in the form of an old song – Carry On my wayward luggage. (OK I paraphrased it a little bit)

  8. Video: I’m pretty sure that guy is wearing a D.A.R.E shirt…I don’t think he listened to his DARE Officer very well…
    [For those of you who don’t know DARE = Drug Abuse Resistance Education. The shirt says: D.A.R.E. To Keep Kids Off Drugs]

  9. How stoned did they have to get those cows? I guess everything really is legal in Amsterdam and the police even get to let loose every now and then. :wtf:

  10. I totally agree w/ what he said about the luggage, once I went to Las Vegas, and when I got to the airport on the way home I went and got my luggage, and the handle woldn’t come out, so when I got home I opened it and the bar was severley bent, TOTALLY BROKE MY LUGGAGE!!!! :boob: :boob:

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