Every HGTV episode. Ever.

Every HGTV episode. Ever.

First time buyers, Jeremy and Meagan have been looking at stately mansions in California’s pricey Sonoma Wine Country.

Their must-haves include an Olympic swimming pool, a 1/4 mile dog kennel run, and a finished basement they can play regulation ice hockey in.”

“Meagan is a stay-at-home, Mommy blogger who sends lots of empowering messages to girls on Snapchat. Jeremy is a part-time marionette operator.”

House No. 1

MEAGAN: “A grill? Oh no. No. Children are cooked and eaten on grills every year. Hard pass on this one.”

[Camera cuts to Jeremy alone on someone else’s driveway]

JEREMY: “This house is perfect. But Meagan is dead set against the grill. I mean. We could sell it or throw it away. But then there’s the white paint in the bathroom. Who does that? It’s not like I could just paint over that.”