Tag: Observations
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Use only as directed
Coca Cola: Intended as a soft drink, but does a great job cleaning whitewall tires. Do not use Coca Cola as birth control. Seriously. Mentos: Sold as a breath mint, but we all know Mentos are meant for rocketry experiments. Toothpaste: Intended for teeth, but does a great job polishing silverware and filling nail holes…
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Plagues that didn’t make it to Egypt
The Plague of Slinkys The Plague of Double-Sided Tape (quickly followed by…) A Rain of Lint A Flood of Nail Clippings Each first-born son will have a third nipple The Plague of BeDazzlers A Flood of Grape Jelly A Plague of Chalkboard Screeching A Stampede of Rodeo Mimes What plagues would you envision? viagra free…
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Overheard: Southern Belle Edition
“Why Nawlins ain’t nuffin’ but caskets, candles and fat white vampires these days.” viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal…
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Fun with Hummers
I hate Hummers. Not so much the vehicle. The drivers. You have to figure, anyone who drives one in a city has issues. Why? Simple. Out of every ten Hummers you see parked, five of them will be either: double, triple or quadruple parked (as shown above), over a curb, in a Handicapped spot or…
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Steven shocks
In the summer of 1978 I landed my first job at a tropical fish store. It was perfect; one mile from home, free pot and discounts on the fish supplies (important to me as I had 14 aquariums at the time). There was a local eccentric named Steven that spent his afternoons in the fish…
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Back tomorrow
Apologies for not posting. I was stuck at Chicago O’Hare airport all night.
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Meet the Democrats
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Name that Yoga technique
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Creepy things to ask at hardware stores
Ask if the woodchippers can handle human limbs Tell the salesclerk you need some bent nails to hammer around corners with. Inquire “hypothetically” how much lye is needed to bury say… a dozen bodies? Ask which cleansers get out all traces of DNA. Walk through the saw aisle and mutter to yourself that, “…the job…
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Little known facts about me.
The answers to the ten questions I get asked most often. Your mission is to determine what those questions are. I write my name in the snow with it. Yes. An old pussy with short, black hair. She uses a long strap to hold it up with. Yes, but I was young and needed the…
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