Steven shocks

In the summer of 1978 I landed my first job at a tropical fish store. It was perfect; one mile from home, free pot and discounts on the fish supplies (important to me as I had 14 aquariums at the time).

There was a local eccentric named Steven that spent his afternoons in the fish store. He was 31 and worked as a gas station attendant, back in the days when “full service” meant something. Steven was proud of his job and would regale us with his tales of the dangers involved in tow truck operation. I must have heard the same four stories fifty times, but I didn’t mind. He wasn’t retarded or slow, but he was off a bit. I never quite figured out what his deal was, but it was amusing.

Steven hung out so often, that despite not owning a single fish himself, he was able to answer customer inquiries and began volunteering time at the register when it got busy.

My boss, Mark, had a habit of writing up the day’s tasks on a sheet that he taped to the door. Invariably, he included a joke task, like “French Kiss an Arowana” or “The Jack Dempseys need handjobs”.

One day, Steven and I began working on the tasks when I heard a shriek, a splash and a crashing sound. Steven lay sobbing on the ground, hair askew, and eyes popping out of his skull. Apparently it hadn’t occurred to him that “stroke the electric eel” wasn’t something he was actually expected to do.

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Show 21 Comments


  1. I’m guessing he fried some more brain cells in that incident, eh? :dead:

    And about the link, what the hell is that lady doing to that mouse?! :wtf:

  2. evilmister

    my eel might not be electric, but it gets all the stroking it needs 😳

  3. Gas eels are safer than electric eels. When you stroke them, all they do is fart.

  4. Da Popster

    I didn’t think people were “up” for this sort of stuff so early in the AM but then I realizes it was Sat. night and then oh well ……… there once was a story about a young boy upon seeing his sister and her boyvfriend making out on a couch and he was inspired to write a paper for school called “The Killing of an Eel” and I’ll be darned if I can remember but a few details ,,,,,,,,,,, anyone out there know the joke? 😈

  5. Summer of 1978… I was wearing wonder woman underoos and just tall enough to reach the bathroom sink.

  6. mikeme

    AHH, 1978…..Disco Heaven!!!!!! :puke: :puke:

  7. Spud

    1978 – Somewhere in a hole no doubt up to my armpits in shite.

    The story about Steven was shocking.


  8. Paige

    What the hell are Jack Dempseys and why would they need a handjob??????? :limp:

  9. mikeB

    You had me at free pot. :wtf:

  10. [Comment ID #68525 will be quoted here]
    Yeah, rub it in, Gen Y.

    [Comment ID #68533 will be quoted here]
    Aggressive South American fish. Touch them anywhere and they’ll attempt to remove your fingers.

  11. Patrick

    (with tongue planted firmly in cheek) Poor Steven. It must have been his electric personality. Ahahaha! Electric personality, get it? Sometimes I crack my own self up!
    When Steven worked at the service station they probably had him change the spark plugs on the diesel engines

  12. Julie

    Of course he was on the ground sobbing…his freakin’ eyes were popping out of his skull. That would upset most anyone!

  13. Ace

    14 aquariums? Either creepy or nerdy. Yeah, I’m going to say both. With all the free pot did you ever feel like you were in an aquarium yourself because you were surrounded by them?

    I didin’t even exist in 1978!

  14. [Comment ID #68521 will be quoted here]

    I know that one! I think it goes something like this:

    One night a little boy is at home with his 16 year old sister babysitting him. The next day his mom and dad ask how last night went. The little boy said, “Well, I was up in my room most of the night ’cause sis had her boyfriend over.” His parents asked what they were doing.
    “Well, I snuck downstairs at one point and saw them talking on the couch. Sis said she had an ache in her chest and he said he’d check it out. So he put his hand up her shirt to feel her heartbeat. I guess sis was pretty sick because then she started moaning. Then her boyfriend unzipped his pants and pulled out an eel! It was pretty big, but I’ve seen bigger one’s down at the lake. Anyways, sis grabbed the eel’s head with her hands and put it in her mouth. It was wriggling around a lot so I guess she was trying to keep it still. All of a sudden, she jumped back, probably because the eel bit her. Then her boyfriend got out a wrapper to put over the eel’s head to keep it from biting her again. He then climbed on top of sis and started jumping up and down to squish the eel. I guess it put up a fight because they were screaming a lot. After a few minutes he got up and the eel was dead! I could tell because it was just hanging there. Sis and her boyfriend just sat there for a while rubbing each other probably because of all the jumping up and down. But then the eel jumped up! I guess it wasn’t dead after all. So then, sis climbed on top of the eel and tried squishing it again. She jumped around for quite a while this time, probably just to make sure she killed it. When she finally got up the eel was surely dead, because a lot of it’s insides were hanging from the wrapper. So, her boyfriend took it to the bathroom and flushed the eel down the toilet.”
    By the time the young boy had finished his story, his mother had fainted and his father had a heart attack.

  15. Anna

    I was gonna comment on the nerdyness of 14 aquariums but then I saw what Ace wrote. No need anymore.
    I can only say: “1978 …… ~sob~ I was out of my teens”.

  16. [Comment ID #68712 will be quoted here]
    When you’re 14 years old and high, staring at aquariums in the dark basement is a great way to spend the afternoon.

    OK, that and I was a fish geek. There were no desktop computers back then. It was fish or D&D for young geeks. :geek:

  17. Da Popster

    THANK YOU Meagan !! You made my day. 😆

  18. Flash Gordon

    Meagan, I heard that one in college back in l958. Does that date me?
    😈 👿 😳 🙄 😕

  19. Mandy

    [Comment ID #68988 will be quoted here]
    Gee Dave. I don’t know what to say.

Comments are closed