All right, who befoozled the Intraweb again?
Tech Support Person in Bangladesh: "Good evening and hello today. I am please to help you very much." Clueless computer user in Duluth: "It's morning, sonny. Do you know stuff about computers and all cause I don't know a thing." Tech Support: "Yes, sir. I am having the Microsoft Certification last year." Clueless in Duluth: ] "It's ma'am, not sir. Microsoft huh? What if I have an Apple?" Tech Support: "I am sorry sir, but this is a technical help phone is. We are having Microsoft problem helpings daily every day. We do not service the Apple computers is. I…
What Would Davezilla Do?
If you were given one million dollars to spend on your loved ones, and only one week to do it, how would you cheat to keep it all for yourself?
Consensus needed
Does the message on her shorts say: Spoiled Soiled Oiled Foiled Boiled Who cares? Nice ass!
Davezilla’s Dictionary #528
Apecurious: [APE-ih-KYUR-ee-us] Noun One who considers himself a gourmand, but is in fact utterly devoid of basic table etiquette. Bistrough: [BEESE-troff] Noun An overpriced, overrated, trendy restaurant with food not suitable for most scavenging mammals. Dipster:* [DIP-stir] Noun A poseur hipster. Faute Cuisine:* [FOTE-kwee-zine] Noun The food served at a Bistrough; beautifully presented, yet completely inedible. Lipster: [LIP-stir] Noun One who talks the hipster talk, yet remains unproven to his colleagues. New Yorkies: [NU York-eez] Noun Wealthy New York apartment widows possessing one or more pint-sized yippy dogs. Queue Vulture: [Q-VUHL-chur] Noun Any of a number of predatory scavengers that…
Getting laid
The Management is currently getting laid. Please check back at a more convenient time when sexual escapades have subsided. Please note that this will only be a temporary cessation.
My Private Hell
There is a theory that each man and woman has a personal Hell waiting for them. No, not the checkout line at Starbucks. I mean after we die, sillies. A Hell comprised of our worst fears. Surely then, my hell would include: Environment of Hell: All the inhabitants of Hell are clowns. They are all named Biff. Each one pronounces "Biff" differently and takes great offense should you mispronounce it. Everything is painted puce. There are old, buzzing neon Bud Light signs covering every wall. There are no outdoors. Hell is one enormous indoor mall populated with screaming toddlers who…
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