Observations

Nothing but links today. I'm sure you won't mind… Corn Maize Photos Tian asks, "Why do you need a parking guide map to all the Walmart stores?" Weird helmets Killer Robot vs. Robot Killer Kids in the Hall to stage reunion tours! The Jack T. Chick Parody Archives The blogs of Angelina Jolie's kids: Zahara's blog and Maddox's blog. Read other people's sins Or read other people's dreams Possibly the lamest blog ever: What I wore today viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free…

In the vein of Chuck Norris Facts, I bring you Angelina Jolie Facts After consumation of the sex act, Angelina devours her mates. Angelina Jolie's doctor takes her temperature with a Kelvin thermometer. Angelina can start brushfires by walking across grass.* Dolphins and whales frequently beach themselves in an attempt to see Angelina suntanning. Angelina Jolie is being deployed to Afghanistan. The mere sight of her will cause Al Qaida members to die from their unstoppable erections. Every poet who has tried to describe her lips has died from the impossibility of finding the proper adjectives. Global warming occurs every…

I have a life I like having a live girlfriend. I have enough problems of my own without worrying about an imaginary person's problems as well My health care plan doesn't cover "loss of hit points" I'd rather battle my finances than some orcs I like to think there is more to my fate than a roll of the dice I can't eat Doritos more than once a year Spending my Friday nights with a roomful of sweaty, fat men talking about traveling with a group of sweaty, armored men is not my cup of tea I prefer to end…

As if it wasn't weird enough that scientists have been producing goats that give spider silk from their udders. Minnie and Nichole alerted me to two different articles on glow-in-the-dark pigs. It sounds like something a grandparent would say. "Yeah, that'll happen when pigs glow in the dark."viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra alternative to viagra buy generic viagra purchase viagra online free…

I have never pushed a hamster down a flight of stairs When people tell me they want to "think out of the box", I want to seal them in an airtight one Coffee-drinking is the sport of kings I am no friend of the mighty woodpecker I often wonder if the spork has ever been used lethally When a woman asks you to get Baby's Breath in her bouquet, she means a type of flower. Boy, did I ever screw that one up When pigs can fly, I'm buying a thicker umbrella I do not believe that anyone really likes…

My fingers are paralyzed and will never type again My eyelids are magnetized to each other I have not only read the same sentence eight times and still have no idea what it says, I remain quite convinced that it is changing meaning on me at will The cat is vomiting in my shoes. Wait, that might be real… My belt is cutting me in half The glow-in-the-dark St. Isidore statuette my brother bought me is talking behind my back Spud will make fun of me when I post this. Oh wait, that one's real, too… The branch scraping against…

"Look! I Photoshopped what our future kids will look like." "Is it OK if my little brother films us?" "Even if you don't put out, I'm telling everyone you did." "You'd better chew on this wolfbane, and here, tie this pelt about your loins. It's … just a precaution." "Ever done it with a real clown before? "I'm severely lactose-intolerant, but I was craving dairy and had a half gallon of milk right before you showed up." "I have some Mexicans … um Mexican products in my trunk to drop off first." "I have fantasies about Dick Cheney." "I've always…