Tag: Observations

Nikki: “I was too tired for movies last night. Allergies are kicking my ass.”Me: “Why do allergies have to kick our ass? Why can’t they lightly pinch it?”Nikki: “Seriously.”Me: “Or grope it.”Nikki: “Hehehehe.”Me: “My allergies are really groping my ass. And it’s kinda nice.”

Every year in the Mongol Empire, circus performers from the Far East and would arrive to demonstrate feats of skill and daring and 1169 C.E. was no different. It was this year that a small girl-child named Temüjin would see the circus for the first time. While the tigers, elephants, camels and phoenixes were impressive…

“There’s worse things out tonight then those creatures.”“Like what?”“Like me.” “We got something special, babe. Real special. Now ditch the bra and get back onstage.” “Don’t go out there. You’ll only get killed. Ben needs you. I need you.” “This knife belonged to my great granddaddy. Killed a lot of Indians with it. Now it’s…

Three course picnic, wine coolers and those adorable glasses from Target! “Do fish prefer Andes’ Mints or Truffles as bait?” “What do you mean, our laughing is scaring away the fish?” “I’m not sure how good these silver hooks are, but aren’t they cute?” “Do these waders make my butt look big?” I’m sure I…

OMGWTFLOLBBQ!!!1! Tuxedo t-shirts Two strippers at the reception. One each for the Groom and the Best Man Kegger Centerpieces would consist of the TV Guide and a remote 60″ LCD TV for watching the game during the service Bridesmaid Wet T-Shirt Competition In place of the Top 40 DJ, Motorhead will be playing a private…

No matter how many women a man sleeps around with, he can always get his true love back by making puppy dog eyes at her in a nightclub While Latino men need to bundle up in thick winter coats in Southern California, Latina women find that hot pants and a sequined bra are the perfect…

Mountain Gorilla Fresh Rainy Dog Fur Breezy Cheeses Gym Locker Fresh Chernobyl Springtime Bacterial Orange Junkyard breeze Sowheto Morning Durian Orchard What scents would you reject? viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women…

The next time you have sushi, and have a large cut on your finger, avoid touching the wasabi. Over the years, I’ve severed my thumb, been stung by a disenchanted lionfish and fallen down a flight of marble steps on my head. They pale in comparison to this. Sixteen hours later and it still feels…

Art Director: “So… where do you work?” Me: “I’m in Digital. I work on social media. I do ethnographic analysis of blogs, metaverses, wikis, that sort of thing.” [ pause ] Art Director: “Oh. So, you make Webs?” Starbucks Customer: “I want a late coffee, please.” Barista: “Excuse me, a what coffee?” Starbucks Customer: “Late…

Took this in Detroit a few weeks ago. This just makes me giggle. viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal…

Velvet Lounge Usage: “The Velvet Lounge is open for business.” Hip Sconce Usage: “The hip sconce needs attending to.” Soft Cloth Car Wash* Usage: “Like a run through the ole Soft Cloth Car Wash?” LOLPUSSEH Usage: “Lolpusseh am in ur unerwarez, taunting ur mens.” Spadina Usage: “That’s a rather large Spadina you have there.” What…

Atrocious Mushroom Usage: “Then he pulled out his Atrocious Mushroom…” Pleasure Girder* Usage: “He ravished me with his Enormous Pleasure Girder.” Fun Log Usage: “Hey, baby. Bet ya never seen a Fun Log like this.” Pink Zucchini* Usage: “I was tending the Pink Zucchini.” Land Eel Usage: “Don’t be frightened. That’s just my Land Eel…