Barista: “She has like, an accent or something. She speaks in British.” Woman on the phone near me: “I heard that if you break vitamins […]
Tag: Observations
Imponderables #3
Every year the groundhog sees his shadow and we end up with a long winter. Can’t we genetically create groundhogs with no fear? viagra free […]
From Russia, with funk
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A letter to the inventor of the automotive visor
Dear Visor Engineers: I am writing a letter to express my disappointment with your products. I understand that as automotive engineers go, your job is […]
Rejected Childrens Book Sequels
Frog and Toad and Mortal Enemies Harriet the Spy in Guantanamo Bay Curious George throws his feces The 500 Diseases of Bartholomew Cubbins Where the […]
OK, class…
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Davezilla’s Dictionary, Part 4
Fuckle: v. To really screw something up. Won’t get you in trouble to say it. At least not right away.Ex. Darn it all, this Windows […]
Overheard: Thai Restaurant Edition
Scene: Natalie and I are eating Thai in what we thought was a private booth. Behind us was a grandmother and her two unruly grandchildren. […]
Failed Valentines Sentiments
These didn’t work last year or this year. Don’t try them next year. When you said you wanted me to meet your mother, I knew […]
Dear Mistre Dave Zilla
Normally I don’t reprint email, respecting the privacy of my readers and because I have better things to do. However, when I am specifically requested […]
Too soon?
Beloved pinup model and pop icon, Anna Nicole Smith dies, suddenly. The identity of her baby’s father is left uncertain. The next day, Microsoft’s Clippy […]
Overheard
Bob: “I see you wear white frequently.” Me: “Every day, Bob. We’ve been through this six or seven times.” Bob: “I see you come to […]