Complete this sentence #24

02 June, 2005Posted inObservations37 Comments
"Every time I find hedgehogs in my pants, I feel the urge to ________."viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra alternative to viagra buy generic viagra purchase viagra online free viagra without prescription viagra attorneys free viagra samples before buying buy generic viagra cheap viagra uk generic viagra online try viagra for free generic viagra from india fda approves viagra free viagra sample what…

Rather unlikely ways to die

01 June, 2005Posted inObservations13 Comments
Crushed underfoot by a parade of Megatherium Knocked into the middle of next week, just like that drunk guy threatened Deadly nostril-flaring contest with Judd Nelson Fatal spork stabbing Entertained to death by puppets Severe salad-making injury Mistaken for a GI Joe doll by a giant child and subsequently beheaded and melted down Coding the world's most dangerous javascript Tongue stuck to metal pole during unexpected Ice Age Forced into a fifteen minute conversation with Paris Hilton viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free…

Risky things to bring on a first date

30 May, 2005Posted inObservations23 Comments
A home pregnancy test and a wedding ring Surgical hoses, clamps and formaldehyde Heavy-duty garbage bags and a shovel A cross, a hammer, a loincloth and three nails A circus monkey and an axe A vat of motor oil, 50 friends and a bikini with a contestant number Prosthetic limbs, a saw and a heavily-bookmarked copy of Frankenstein A manatee with a saddle A BeDazzler and a stack of airbrushed t-shirts A PacMan suit and a Ms. PacMan suit viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra…

Overheard: Iraqi doctor edition

24 May, 2005Posted inObservations12 Comments
Two men at Starbucks are discussing the Iraq war behind me. One is blaming Iraqi doctors for all of the suicide bombings. My ears prick up as this is an angle I had not heard on the news. Man 2: "Where did you get that information? I've never heard anything about doctors being involved!" Man 1: "I hear about it every time there's a bombing. Where have you been?" Man 2: "Doctors. Iraqi ones?" Man 1: "Yup." Man 2: "What… are the supplying the suicide bombers?" Man 1: "No, they are the bombers. They're all doctors." [ Now at this…

Note to Self, No. 5,599

22 May, 2005Posted inObservations12 Comments
I will not leave Sharpies in my pockets on laundry day. I will not leave Sharpies in my pockets on laundry day. I will not leave Sharpies in my pockets on laundry day. I will not leave Sharpies in my pockets on laundry day. I will not leave Sharpies in my pockets on laundry day…viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra alternative to viagra…

Taste the friendly skies

20 May, 2005Posted inObservations16 Comments
Some among us are fated to spend our airline hours trapped between the blinding light of the window seat and the searing, fetid breath of the fat, wheezing man in the aisle seat. I am one so fated. His wheezing was the typical sort one would expect from an asthmatic charged with sprinting up 17 flights of stairs with an armload of fresh firewood. However he was in full slovenly recline and the wheezing showed no signs of letting up. Let me share with you, my breakfast. First class is still afforded a meal of sorts. We, the elite, gold-card,…

Whoops

17 May, 2005Posted inObservations13 Comments
Perhaps in hindsight, the domain name, mp3shits.com might be giving the wrong message for a site called MP3's Hits.viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra alternative to viagra buy generic viagra purchase viagra online free viagra without prescription viagra attorneys free viagra samples before buying buy generic viagra cheap viagra uk generic viagra online try viagra for free generic viagra from india fda approves…

Identifying the birds of Detroit

15 May, 2005Posted inObservations9 Comments
Identifying the birds of Detroit The Common Kildeer A bird most of us have seen in the open fields or oddly enough, hanging out in construction sites. Kildeers are known for two things: Their slightly annoying cry which seems to begin at 4am on the first day of spring and continue nonstop until mid-January the following year when the damn things' vocal chords freeze over. The "wounded wing" act, wherein the male will fake an old football injury in the hopes that you will follow him to the nearest late-night clinic that accepts his HMO. It rarely works as most…

Flickr pickup lines

11 May, 2005Posted inObservations17 Comments
I see on I'm on your contact list. Does that mean the sex is on? Your interests include taking photographs of dogs and pussies. What a coincidence… What do you look like at 1600 X 1200, baby? I belong to Best Viewed Large, if you know what I mean. I love a woman that knows how to tag. I'm starting a Flickr group for nymphomaniac female photographers. You're invited. No, I didn't say send me a picture of your cat, I said send me a picture of your … Just because I check your photo page 408 times a day…

Paris is burning

08 May, 2005Posted inObservations13 Comments
Boy that Paris Hilton sure gets around! Why, she's got not one, but three Flickr accounts, each less plausible than the rest. :razz: Cheeewaahwaa Paris the Heiress Paris Hilton viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra alternative to viagra buy generic viagra purchase viagra online free viagra without prescription viagra attorneys free viagra samples before buying buy generic viagra cheap viagra uk generic viagra…

Overheard: Frozen Samosa Edition

06 May, 2005Posted inObservations23 Comments
Natalie: i went crazy at Whole Foods today Natalie: i didn't eat lunch til about 3 Me: you went crazy? Me: Did you smash things and scream in your underwear in the frozen food aisle? Natalie: i brought back about 4 different salads and a veggie samosa Natalie: in my underwearviagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra alternative to viagra buy generic viagra purchase…