Risky things to bring on a first date

  1. A home pregnancy test and a wedding ring
  2. Surgical hoses, clamps and formaldehyde
  3. Heavy-duty garbage bags and a shovel
  4. A cross, a hammer, a loincloth and three nails
  5. A circus monkey and an axe
  6. A vat of motor oil, 50 friends and a bikini with a contestant number
  7. Prosthetic limbs, a saw and a heavily-bookmarked copy of Frankenstein
  8. A manatee with a saddle
  9. A BeDazzler and a stack of airbrushed t-shirts
  10. A PacMan suit and a Ms. PacMan suit
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Show 23 Comments

23 Comments

  1. Here’s a real winner: bring along some photographs of your ex-wives/girlfriends/love-slaves for some real heated discussion on the way home!

  2. Spud

    Some others that come to mind…

    6 donkey size propalactics
    1 jar of crab cream (half used)
    1 – black medium sized nylon bag with “tools”
    4 rolls of black duct tape
    a pkt of plastic cable ties
    and of course the large plastic black heavy duty industrial strength garbage bags with trenching shovel.

    🙂

  3. I’d bring a couple of those things along just to see how they react.

    You know, to weed out the boring ones.

  4. For who’s use would the axe be? You, your date’s, or the circus monkey? :wtf:

  5. Kimberly

    Awww!

    A BeDazzler and a stack of airbrushed t-shirts

    I think this would be FUNNY! 🙂 If a guy brought them!

  6. JFLY

    Definitely not the wedding ring – or the spouse. 😀

  7. JFLY

    Definitely not the wedding ring – or the spouse. 😀

  8. JFLY

    Definitely not the wedding ring – or the spouse. 😀

  9. Well now, hang on a minute Dave. I beg to differ on the risky nature of a few of those items. They could be the perfect accoutrements on a first date if the girl happens to be:

    In her late thirties and panicking. (1)
    A girl who insists on bringing her cat along on the date (2 & 3)
    A feminist (4)
    A girl named Tiffi (6)
    A Goth (7)
    A mermaid (8)
    A girl named Tammy (9)
    A female Dungeons and Dragons player (10)

  10. barb

    i like the penor in my vag

    :wang::wang::wang::wang::wang:

  11. A PacMac suit and a Ms. PacMac suit

    PacMac? Is that a scary hybric fashioned out of Big Mac and PacMan costumes?

  12. No no’s for a first date:
    – bring live bait and a full prescription for penicillin
    – Go to REVENGE of the SITH in full TREK regalia, you as Mr. Spock, she as B’lanna Torres
    – bring a case of 24 rolls of aluminum foil and masking tape, with a couple of copies of “NIGHTEYES” (Garfield Reeves-Stevens) for both of you
    – bring your mother

  13. Common, you can’t go wrong with a monkey no matter what he’s carrying.

  14. LonelySimon

    11. Me 😕

  15. A squirrel, peanuts, and a can of cooking spray.:razz::dead:

  16. Unless you live in Taylor, Michigan, Kami. Then those are expected, along with the feather roach clip earrings and Molly Hatchett tapes.

  17. Their hair looks like roadkill too.:eek:

  18. How about smart things to bring on a first date:

    1. HIV/AIDS test kit

    2. Accountant or G-Man from the Internal Revenue Service

    3. Undercover FBI cops that can do background checks

    4. The date’s ex (reference checks you know)

    5. Undercover Mob-leader (in case you need to get rid of the body)

    . . . any more Davezilla?

  19. Mandy

    Sure you wouldn’t like #6, Dave? Sounds fun to me! :thong:

  20. What’s wrong with a manatee? :kiss: I mean, especially if you also bring the saddle…

  21. Anonymous

    :!::roll::thong::cool::evil::mrgreen::mrgreen::mrgreen::mrgreen::cool::cool::cool::cool::-(:-?

Comments are closed