What is your kryptonite?

There exists one thing in everyone's life that makes them shiver with fear, double over with nausea or curl into a fetal position. I have several of these bugabooos including, but not limited to: Clowns and mimes Bacon (S'OK, I'm pesco-vegetarian) Hummel figurines Sock garters Chinese opera Gauchos and skorts "New country" Czarnina Journey, Air Supply and REO Speedwagon Broadway musicals So tell me, what is your kryptonite?viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female…

Overheard: Delicious-Sounding Tea Edition

On Saturday, I ate lunch at one of my favorite local Lebanese restaurants. My waitress was a lovely, young Korean woman who was adjusting to being leered at by her male coworkers. This was the opening coversation: "This is day of training, number of two. I am not used to the system of computer here. Do not worry, though. I have computered at another restaurant before. I hope your tea is as delicious as it sounds."viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra…

Note to Self, No. 6,001

The next time you travel, you are not letting your black cat play inside the suitcase while you pack, ensuring your white shirt will be coated in black fur. Also check that you have removed any chocolates from your suitcase that may inexplicably get stuck on your pants when you press them with the hotel's cheap iron. Looks like someone borked the comments on this post. Trying to fix them. Your patience is greatly underappreciated.

Overheard: Flight to Arkansas Edition

[Sitting behind me on plane] Traveler #1: "Whut wuz thayat?" Traveler #2: "I bet it wuzza wheelz comin' down." Traveler #1: "Wheelz? Fer real?" Traveler #2: "Yessir. We's sittin' raht above the plane's wang." Traveler #1: "We surely are! I ain't never been above the wang afore." Traveler #2: "Yessir. It's a good spot. Git t'see ever thing from here." Traveler #1: "Lookit that wang." Traveler #2: "Mm-Hm." Traveler #1: "Jim?" Traveler #2: "Yeah?" Traveler #1: "I'm fixin' to barf."viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra…

Astral Body Workout

I was IMing with my friend Jim S. when we got on one of those odd topics. I know. Moi? Talk about something weird? So we're talking about astral bodies, something I find both fascinating and well … highly improbable. I just don't buy into it. Not the fact that it's, you know, bullshit. I've heard worse. Like that Ark story. I'm talking about the inconvenience of having an astral body. I mean, I can barely take care of this one, and now I have to take care of an invisible body, too? That just doesn't seem fair. I'm far…

More people we dislike #7

People who run their lawnmower/snowblower/leafblower before 9AM on a weekend. Guys who think the prison pants look is still in. People who turn their vehicles into walking advertisements for their religion. People who turn their vehicles into walking advertisements for anything. Obssessive parents People who insist on bringing their stinking, neurotic pets into coffeehouses because, "He gets upset if sees me inside talking to other people." The assholes responsible for convincing a whole new generation of women that Mukluks are cute. Landlords. Has-been 60s/70s/80s popstars trying desperately to make comebacks. Who's on your (s)hitlist this week?

Top Signs You May Be a Walking Asshole

You double-park your Hummer in the handicapped section Your television cost more than your education You post naked pictures of your ex- online You often make lefthand turns from the right turn lane You feel the neighbor's lawn is your ashtray You have nine online identities, none of which accurately reflect your age, weight, gender or disposable income You leave tips for the server under an overturned glass of water You feel that, "What? It's biodegradable," is a good enough excuse for not cleaning up after your dog You think nothing of leaving your skirt, thong and office supplies in…

Fess up!

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Notes to Self, No. 5,890-5,895

The next time you press your shirt, make sure you iron both sides before wearing the shirt to work Yes, you really do have a bottle of soy sauce from 2002 to throw away The next time you decide to delete an old folder from the server, make sure you've … already downloaded it first. Damn. When you fly back to Arkansas this weekend, do not lose the parking pass. Again. The next time you believe an optometrist who says, "Transition lenses will darken 60% of sunlight", make sure she promises they will work while driving too (the only reason…

Caption Time #101

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What should I do today?

Seriously. This is my first entire day off since being promoted in January. What should I do with my day? I am taking suggestions. Be creative.viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra alternative to viagra buy generic viagra purchase viagra online free viagra without prescription viagra attorneys free viagra samples before buying buy generic viagra cheap viagra uk generic viagra online try viagra for…