Overheard: “Sangrina” edition

28 April, 2008Posted inwtf33 Comments
Bartender: "So what did you two do last night?" Waitress #1: "We had some sangrinas. They were so good." Bartender: "I've heard of those. They're like margaritas, right?" Waitress #2: "No, they're a wine thing with like fruits and shit." Bartender: "Oh, that's sound good! What kind of wine is it?" Waitress #2: "Dark wine." Waitress #1: "Yeah, dark wine. I dunno, Chardonnay or something." I swear, I lost 10 IQ points listening to that.

Possibly inappropriate times to initiate sex

27 April, 2008Posted inObservations41 Comments
While your partner is brushing their teeth In the middle of a funeral Mid-hurricane While juggling flaming hatchets During a tightrope walkover the Grand Canyon While being hunted down by cannibal clowns After divorcing them During a zombie outbreak While shark baiting underwater When do you think would be an inappropriate time to initiate sex?

Things to do during a boring meeting at work

23 April, 2008Posted inObservations30 Comments
Psychically melt the brains of the person(s) responsible for the meeting. Switch the agenda for one written in Pig Latin. Stare intently at the speaker's face as if they have a monstrous zit on their cheek. Give the "your zipper is down" signal to the speaker numerous times during the meeting. Scream at the top of your lungs that you, "…just had the worst nightmare that I was in this horrible meeting!" Perform a striptease. Request unusual music. Inquire where this "box" is that everyone is thinking outside of, cause you sure haven't seen one lying around the office." If…

Let’s prank someone

21 April, 2008Posted inwtf26 Comments
So I had this idea for a prank on a certain corporation recently. Download and print out this parody PDF. I think you'll understand what you need to do. :twisted: If not, discuss in the comments.

Imponderables

19 April, 2008Posted inObservations46 Comments
If someone tells you they are at your disposal, does that mean they are standing by your kitchen sink? If a AA bra that is extra small, and a DD bra is extra large, why are there no BB or CC bras for women who are nicely average? What the hell kinda name is Chock full o' Nuts anyway? Coffee ain't a nut; it's a berry. What have you been pondering, lately?

Rejected names for cereals

13 April, 2008Posted inObservations33 Comments
Lice Krispies Kellogg's Porn Flakes Frosted Mini Feets Sugar Frosted Aches Ape Nuts Cap'n Chronic Brute Loops Unlucky Harms Funny Bunches of Goats What cereals names would you reject? If you need some inspiration, look through Mr. Breakfast.

What’s in Dick’s shades?

11 April, 2008Posted inObservations33 Comments
The whole of the Interwebs are alight with chatter of whether or not a nekkid lady is reflected in Dick Cheney's sunglasses. I say that's ridiculous. Have you ever seen Dick Cheney? No woman would get naked in front of him. Here's a few guesses of mine. What are your guesses?

How to spot a freak

07 April, 2008Posted inFreaks32 Comments
At some point, you've surely heard a friend or coworker say something like, "That person should not be allowed to breed." Well, those people did breed and their spawn all migrated to my city. As you can see from these two photographs, our freaks are not your ordinary tinfoil-hat-wearing, no-sock-having, nine-coat-sporting hobos that you might see in cities like New York or Los Angeles. Ours are a special kind of wrong. The closeup view is even more confusing: