Observations

You've all heard the term GAYDAR, being the inborn ability to spot a gay person on sight. Most of us have this ability to varying degrees. Natalie and I came up with names for other types of natural RADAR that humans possess. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADAR: The ability to spot Henry Winkler ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRDAR: The ability to spot a pirate BRAYDAR: The ability to spot a jackass CHEDAR: The ability to spot a cheese lover GRAYDAR: The ability to spot someone who is lying about their age GREYDAR: The ability to spot aliens among us KRAYDAR: The ability to spot a supercomputer LAYDAR: The…

Women who wear tank tops designed for girls 1/4 their size. This may look interesting if said woman is in great shape, but when the wearer needs bookmarks to find her navel, the effect is far less appealing. Men who wear ties with cartoon characters on them to executive meetings. Women (primarily older ones do this) who wear ankle-high pantyhose with knee-length skirts. I am at a complete loss to understand why the hairiest of men favor the smallest of bathing suits. Are they trying to scare us? Geeks who clip to their belts, their PDA, cellphone, JumpDrive and pet…

A Pizza-Maker shall be born near Italy. Who shall cause all penguins to explode, They shall say, with what marshmallow peeps he keeps company He shall be found less a Pizza-Maker than a misshapen toad. From a simple plastic surgeon he will rise to the empire, From the short nose he will attain the long. Great schools of Sea Monkeys shall arise. A great troop shall come through Russia. The destroyer shall eliminate the color beige. The great color beige will soon be exchanged for the color puce. Which will soon cover the most. A small puce of tiny area…

The next time the electric toothbrush fails to start, hold it away from the eyes before it decides to magically spring back to life.viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra alternative to viagra buy generic viagra purchase viagra online free viagra without prescription viagra attorneys free viagra samples before buying buy generic viagra cheap viagra uk generic viagra online try viagra for free generic…

Man #1: How come every fat guy in America has a goatee? Man #2: Bush made that a law. You didn't hear? Customer: Is this sushi all fish or what? Waitress: No. Some is fish, Some is vegetable. Some is raw. Not all. Some is barbecue. Customer: How about chicken? Waitress: No. Chicken is not sushi. Chicken is … a chicken bird.viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest…

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On many occasions I have mentioned my downstairs neighbors that hail from Albania. They have some recipes that give one pause as to their immediate origin. In time, one begins to identify the unique and fetid aromas that waft miasmatically from their kitchen. I thought I'd share the wealth with my readers and provide you, periodically with home recipes from my downstairs denizens. Toad Melt 2 c. No-brand baking mix 1/3 c. dog milk 1 large toad, chopped and drained 1/2 c. finely chopped crabgrass 1/3 c. expired mayonnaise 2 tbsp. mud relish 6 slices Albanian donkey cheese Heat oven…

Albanian neighbor: Get car. Me: Excuse me? Albanian neighbor: Get car. New. Is. Get car. Me: Uh, oh that's a rental car. Mine is in the shop. Albanian neighbor: Is nice get car. Me: Yes, it is nice to get a car. Albanian neighbor: You watch Olympuh-nick? Me: Yes, Greece just lost to the US in volleyball. Albanian neighbor: Yes. Wolley vall. They lose. Me: Were you voting for Greece or America? Albanian neighbor: Get car. Nice.viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples…

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I got to thinking about how people name their boats and wondered if I had a boat, what would I name it? Here's some suggestions I recommend avoiding at all costs: Sea Maiden's Drool Bucket Ocean Loaf Cthulhu's Tantrum Paris Hilton's Bikini Jimmy Hoffa's Coffin River Chunk Leaky Heap Wet Bastard Peanutbutter and Jellyfish The Sea Ho viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra…