Note to self: 4,997

The next time the electric toothbrush fails to start, hold it away from the eyes before it decides to magically spring back to life.

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13 Replies to “Note to self: 4,997”

  1. The path of mankind has always struggled against items of a vibrating nature and although I don’t actually own an electric toothbrush I have another story involving vibrating terrors that I would like to share with you all today.

    Imagine returning home with friends to find your children and all their friends racing vibrators across the kitchen floor?

    That’s exactly what happened to my friend’s parents and it was all thanks to an overly long Sunday and a bunch of bored 9 year olds.

    My friend’s mother was a representative for Ann Summers in her spare time. This basically meant that she held all girl parties and then gave the participants a chance to buy things like naughty underwear, vibrators, creams etc. it also meant that her stock was kept in the attic.

    Well it was. Until WE found it!

    We all knew what the underwear was, but these vibrating things were a mystery…..it was then that the eldest and wisest among us said that they were in fact toys. Not sex toys, but obviously toys for Christmas or something. So we got one out and found that if you placed it on a flat surface it would go along like a toy car and voila! GAME ON!

    And so it was…..we made a track with lanes….picked our winners and it truly was the sport of kings…..until his mum and dad came home to us kids going completely crazy and screaming things like “Come on Black Mamba” and “ Go on Rampant Rabbit” as they watched the wiggling sex toys jumping around their kitchen floor.

    We had even written betting slips in crayon with the names on like horses! Races such as “Roger Rammer” versus “Ejaculator MEGA2” actually took place. They were mortified!

    Needless to say. They never mentioned this incident to my mother or anyone else for that matter….probably for the best really.

    :dead:

  2. P.S

    Lets tie a cat to some string and try to shove it into a cardboard box!

    I wonder what will happen?

    😎

  3. Rev’s post about the races has me doubled over. I’m laughing so loud the neighbors are gonna call the cops or the other people to take me away in a white jacket in spite of the warm night. Rev, thank you! but Dave, it’s your fault – that’s another night’s sleep you owe me!

  4. Once my wife and I made an attempt to leash-train our cat – and got a reaction just like in the film. I, however, was smart enough to let the cat go when she started flipping out – thus avoiding serious damage to my thighs, etc.

    Kitty hid under some bushes until she regained her nerves, then allowed us to take off the leash. It went immediately into the dumpster, and we forever swore off leash-training cats.

    Sean

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