Frogs are to cannon balls what Valium is to [blank]. Snowflakes are to Australians what abject poverty is to [blank]. Large, fake breasts are to women what tooth decay is…
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"After our adventurers had finished polishing all the troll's silverware, swept his dungeon and adjusted his satellite TV dish, they decided to … " [Add your lines and keep the…
Christianity is a beautiful religion with a big problem. Marketing. No other religion feels so compelled to proselytize through the dubious medium of bumper stickers (except Wiccans, and they just…
Guys who wear t-shirts with tuxedos printed on them. People who finish their sentences by clucking their tongue. Every time. I don't mind the odd lawn gnome or statue of…
Tech Support Person in Bangladesh: "Good evening and hello today. I am please to help you very much." Clueless computer user in Duluth: "It's morning, sonny. Do you know stuff…
Apecurious: [APE-ih-KYUR-ee-us] Noun One who considers himself a gourmand, but is in fact utterly devoid of basic table etiquette. Bistrough: [BEESE-troff] Noun An overpriced, overrated, trendy restaurant with food not…
The Management is currently getting laid. Please check back at a more convenient time when sexual escapades have subsided. Please note that this will only be a temporary cessation.
There is a theory that each man and woman has a personal Hell waiting for them. No, not the checkout line at Starbucks. I mean after we die, sillies. A…
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