Recent Effluvia:

Uh, ma’am? There’s a badger on your head

To be honest, I’m not sure if she cut her hat open or if it came that way. In any event, her hair was a horrible rat’s nest and I just had to shareâ€¦

01 June, 2008
Overheard: Is it permanent?

Girl 1: “Have you seen my new tat? I don’t think I’ve seen you since I got it.”
Girl 2: “No! Lemme see!”
[looks at her shoulderblade]
Girl 2: “Oh, cool! Is it permanent?”
Girl 1: “Yeahâ€¦ That’s kinda the point.”
Girl 2: “Really? Nothing will wash it off?”
Girl 1: [shakes head]
Girl 1: “What if you use a really good exfoliant?”
Girl 1: “OHMYGODYOUARESUCHAMAJORDORK!”

30 May, 2008
I have no words

I mean, how do you screw up a simple chest bump?

29 May, 2008
Captiontime #234

26 May, 2008
This is America

25 May, 2008
Osama bin Shoppin’

Image via Noel P.

22 May, 2008
Butter Christ

“We saw it on the way down 75 to cincinnati â€” glowing a warm margarine yellow in the late afternoon light. My camera was in the trunk so we all swore we would get shots of it the next day on our way back to Detroit. The locals proudly told us the landmarks affectionate name â€œBig Butter Jesusâ€ â€”Chris Z.

20 May, 2008
Captiontime #233

17 May, 2008
Oh, Wikipedia. You so silly!

I looked up the definition of thong by accident (yeah, right) and found an interesting word as part of the definition:

Thong underwear and swimwear is a style characterized by a thin strip of material along the center of the garment’s rear designed to sit between the wearer’s asscheeks connecting the front or pouch to the waistband behind the wearer.[1]

15 May, 2008
Captiontime #232

13 May, 2008
Mean things to teach third graders
1. Dogs lay eggs. Your parents hide them from you and you eat them on Easter.
2. Clowns eat children. After your pointless birthday party, one of your friends will be sacrificed to appease them.
4. If you don’t eat your vegetables, you will have to stay in the third grade forever.
5. Your parents only make you take math as a punishment.
6. The only kids that can see Santa Claus are the ones who eat broccoli, rhubarb and spinach.
7. Sixth graders learn to turn invisible in science class. Then they watch you in the bathroom.
8. Diaries are closely monitored by the government. Everything you write in them gets read aloud on the evening news so your parents can have a good laugh at you.
9. Your parents stopped having children when they saw how embarrassing you turned out to be.
10. What mean things would you teach a third grader?
12 May, 2008
All my nightmares rolled into one image

09 May, 2008