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- Dogs lay eggs. Your parents hide them from you and you eat them on Easter.
- Clowns eat children. After your pointless birthday party, one of your friends will be sacrificed to appease them.
- If you don’t eat your vegetables, you will have to stay in the third grade forever.
- Your parents only make you take math as a punishment.
- The only kids that can see Santa Claus are the ones who eat broccoli, rhubarb and spinach.
- Sixth graders learn to turn invisible in science class. Then they watch you in the bathroom.
- Diaries are closely monitored by the government. Everything you write in them gets read aloud on the evening news so your parents can have a good laugh at you.
- Your parents stopped having children when they saw how embarrassing you turned out to be.
- What mean things would you teach a third grader?