I Don’t Have Any Pants, So I Might As Well … Dance?

13 August, 2008Posted inwtf14 Comments

Last night before I decided to go to bed I happened to scroll through my amazingly cool satellite provider to see what was on (I like to leave the tv on to help me fall asleep so I can wake up four hours later, supremely irritated at whatever is now on, turn the television off with a grunt, and flop over to the other side of the bed).

Lo and behold, a movie that I distinctly remember as being one hell of a good watch. I mean, Tom Cruise and Rebecca deMornay banging on a subway train? Pimps? Hooker house?

I am, of course, talking about Risky Business. The premise is simple. Parents go away, straight-A uptight Republican kid goes kinda batshit, has a bunch of parties, turns his house into a brothel, gets into it with a pimp, all that shit. I mean, when my parents went away for vacation, that is so totally the first thing I did, right after building an atomic bomb in the garage.

The following scene is one of the most well-known from the movie:

I have a confession to make

24 July, 2008Posted inwtf29 Comments
Every time I see a convertible parked with its top down, I feel tempted to drop or hide something unexpected in their car. Here are some of the things I have considered “gifting” convertible owners with: Five kilos of confetti A squirrel Dry ice A kite, tied to the back seat A rubber snake A Walkie Talkie under the seat Someone else’s underwear in the backseat Parking tickets Sex toys and used condoms A super bubble wand affixed to their headrest What would you drop in a convertible?

Where I was all weekend, Part II

09 July, 2008Posted inObservations, wtf25 Comments
So this was the bathroom: On the plus side, they had giant scissors, a clearly marked beach and the biggest smiley face I hope to ever see. Also, the Shriners up there drive funny cars. Despite the weirdness, I actually got three days to relax and not work or go online. Go me!

Where I was all weekend, Part I

08 July, 2008Posted inObservations, wtf18 Comments
Lizz and I took a much needed vacation up north this weekend. I had planned a month in advance to get a romantic Bed & Breakfast for the Fourth of July weekend. Sadly, my favorite B&B gets booked up three months ahead so I booked with another place. The week of, I got a panicked call from the proprieter who said she had just received my check that day. It was mistakenly delivered to the neighbor, who had never bothered to bring it over until three weeks later. Needless to say, she was booked solid by then. I made arrangements…