Minimum Required Asshole Distance

Minimum Required Asshole Distance


  1. Bear

    Wouldnt you just love to tow this piece of shit to another part of the lot and wedge it bewteen two old junkers. I mean so close together they couldn’t even gain access thru the windows. Oh yeah, you gotta back it in against the wall…I mean nooooooooo access.

  2. Drusky

    Must be a new Hummer owner. Any experienced Hummer owner would also have pulled forward so it could occupy the two spaces in front of it for a total of four. What this asshole forgets is that Hummer tires deflate just as good as any other. The true artist would get the spare, too… 😈

  3. Drusky

    Oh, yeah… The McCain sticker in the window is a nice touch…

  4. Supercharged_goddess

    yall have it all wrong- that space is for when Zilla girls are in the truck- gotta have roll space for when we’re “testing the suspension.” :wang:

  5. Denny

    If McCain’s supporters are dickwods, he clearly must be, too.


  6. patrick

    I’d pay someone good money to park an untagged piece of crap tightly on either side of that rolling monument to gluttony and greed and just walk the fuck away! Make ’em crawl through the rear hatch. Just like crawling in an asshole, with which they are likely familiar.

  7. Hmmmm …. I wonder ….. if you kicked on the doors hard enough, would you be able to move the truck over to one parking space? It’s at least worth a try, don’t you think? If not, try deflating the tires to see if it would slide easier on the rubber.

  8. re: Link of the Day …. I could feel the blockage in my aorta enlarging just by looking at the picture.

  9. Bigwavdave

    All that being said…This jerk (OFF) has to put gas in his ego-buggy. It’s OK to point and laugh as you drive by.

    All hat – no cattle = All Hummer – no dick :limp:

  10. The perfect revenge for this kind of situation involves a hose and my empty tank. 😈

  11. Video of the day: WTF?! 😕

    How is brain formed, is more like it. :wtf:

  12. Bear

    [Comment ID #363268 will appear here]
    That item from flicker was great…I actually printed out the note in multiple copies, whuch I WILL put on the windows of the other asshols who cant park.
    Have a Great Day!

  13. I once dated someone who drove a Hummer. And yes, he was compensating.

  14. [Comment ID #363795 will appear here]

    I’d be willing to bet that your hummer was much better than his.

  15. [Comment ID #363817 will appear here]

    Why thank you.

  16. Andy

    I like assholes like this. I hook up my tow strap and pull the asshole out and block the traffic lane. Then the true use of a cell phone call the cops and get it towed.

  17. Edward D

    What an obnoxious SOB!! That’s like…here’s my Hummer, Destroy it, I`ll get another. Gas Guzzling Fargon Icehole needs someone to pour about 50lbs of sugar in his tank to show what a sweetheart he really is. What I could do with a bottle of sulphuric acid right about now! GRRRRRR!!

  18. junkman

    oooh babby…looks like there’s just enough room on each side for a krispy kreme donut! that would make one big o’bammalicious sammidge. :puke:

  19. [Comment ID #363922 will appear here]

    Or better yet, take the whole tray of kk burgers and whip ’em at the truck, paying careful attention to the windshield and driver’s side. Stuffing them in through any windows that might be open a crack wouldn’t be a bad idea either.

    In a similar vein, if you took the Zillagang and went for a walk in downtown Royal Oaks, what do you think we’d get arrested for first?

  20. [Comment ID #363998 will appear here]

    I’d say either indecent exposure or lewd conduct. And who cares if we’re arrested? It’s not like none of us hate wearing handcuffs. 😈

  21. Njoan

    The unmitigated audacity(probably does not know what that means) of this dork. I say get 3 other people (one on each side, and one in the front) to park as close as possible to it. When I had a crappy car I used to do it all the time. Who do they think they are, ah that is the point, they don’t think.

  22. [Comment ID #363999 will appear here]

    And if it’s a jury of our peers, we’d never be convicted! We would still get the 40 lashes though, wouldn’t we? 🙄

  23. Lake Effect

    [Comment ID #363795 will appear here]

    I have a…um…uhh…?…a Cooper Mini. Yeah, that’s it, a Mini! Yes!!

  24. Lake Effect

    Oh–I forgot: :wang: :thong: :wang: :thong: :wang:

  25. [Comment ID #363999 will appear here]

    They won’t arrest you for that here. Girls flash all the time. No one cares. You can walk around with your underwear stapled to your forehead and people will just sort of shrug and move on. We’ve seen it all. :mrgreen:

  26. Drusky

    That’s the fun in driving a rusted, dented beater. No matter where you park, most other drivers will give you a wide berth on either side as if your car has mange and their fancier car might catch it. Also it seems like it’s assumed you will take the doors of said beater and whack the sides of their ‘baby’…

  27. Drusky

    [Comment ID #364206 will appear here]

    Is that your stickshift or are you just glad to see Mandy? 😛

  28. We can probably assume then that the driver, like his car, is a overweight, toxic fume emitting oaf who once thought he was made for the military but now mostly just hangs out around malls with a yellow streak running down his middle.

  29. Spud

    I think the number plate says it all…

    Kok Action 3!

  30. I get to use this to my advantage. I pull my motorcycle up close next to them in the 1/2 space and I dobn’t worry because nobody fucks with a motorcycle.

    Happy 4th everyone, or Boxer day, or may your Quanza be the shiznit.

  31. [Comment ID #363249 will appear here]

    I wouldn’t waste the effort on all four tires. Two would have done the job, as no one carries two spares. But I love how you think!

  32. [Comment ID #363283 will appear here]

    With a the gas tank of a Hummer containing on averate 23.0 gallons, when gas prices finally hit $5 a gallon (Labor Day weekend perhaps?), we’ll all know from whence to siphon! Does anyone besides me remember that crap from the 1970s, the era of gas tank locks, siphoning, and odd/even license plate fill up days?

  33. PS: My fave “retaliatory aid” is always tuna juice. In this case, pour it into the gills/defroster vents by the windshield wipers.

    Perhaps I’ve said too much…

  34. Flash Gordon

    [Comment ID #365201 will appear here]

    I liked to put a big catfish under the guy’s front seat, but yours is simpler! I dig it. 😎 😳 😈 👿

  35. Drusky

    [Comment ID #365182 will appear here]

    [Comment ID #365201 will appear here]

    I like your thinking, too. Plus, you get bonus points for style… 😀

  36. AlexBallew

    Regarding the Krispy Kreme burgers see this:

  37. [Comment ID #365971 will appear here]

    There wasn’t a single skinny person in that video. My guess is that if any skinny people came to town, they rolled them in bacon fat, deep fried ’em, and served ’em for breakfast.

  38. Chris S.

    I’ve even seen these asshole types park over 4 spots by pulling even farther forward when the 2 spots ahead are also empty. It kind of looks like that is the case here now that I look more closely. Even better is when they do it on an angle so you KNOW they are trying to use as much space as possible. Unfortunately, every time I have ever attempted some sort of action against assholes like this, I always get caught or a witness appears right before I do anything. Otherwise there would be a trail of keyed up cars with flat tires in my wake… 😈 🙁

  39. Tam

    Just because someone drives a gas guzzling hunk of crap like that does not mean they are voting for Mcain…I have seen several of these gas hogs with OBAMA HOPE stickers on them…what the Hell does that mean anyways….says a whole lot of nothing just like the candidate.

  40. [Comment ID #367196 will appear here]

    It does when they have a McCain sticker on their window. Look again (left of the spare tire). 🙄

  41. [Comment ID #365971 will appear here]

    Oddly enough, that both grossed me out and made me hungry. :wtf:

  42. Jennifer

    Run Flat Tires 😀

  43. [Comment ID #365229 will appear here]

    See, I wouldn’t mind going all Big Lebowski and putting a severed toe somewhere discreet, and let the fetid aroma fill the car on a continual basis as the toe commences to breakdown and rot.

  44. [Comment ID #365362 will appear here]

    Thanks for the compliment, and I’ve got quite a few friends and family members who know this about me, and they all know enough not to piss me off.

    My second favorite retaliatory aid is the combination of fresh dog poop and crazy glue.

    You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry…

  45. [Comment ID #366116 will appear here]

    Isn’t the Krispy Kreme donut burger aka the Luther Burger?

  46. [Comment ID #367196 will appear here]

    That right there is what I call irony!

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