All the elements of a good story

06 March, 2006Posted inUncategorized58 Comments
Longtime readers may recall an incident in December, 2004 involving my neighbor leaving her thong on the welcome mat. On Friday evening, I heard her and two of her drunk girlfriends stumbling up the stairs. After a lot of giggling and swearing, I clearly heard my neighbor plead, "Don't pee in the cup! I'll find my keys." Needless to say, that got my attention. I ventured out into the hallway to see if there were any "accidents" on the carpeting. No, but I did find a miniskirt, thong and … paperclip. It's the paperclip that intrigues me most. Any guesses?viagra…

You folks is weird.

05 March, 2006Posted inUncategorized56 Comments

I’ve seen some odd pics from you in the past, but you outdid yourselves this time. I’m not sure how many of them I believe are legit…

Impressive. Some are safe, some not so much, which is why I am hiding them in the excerpt. I don’t want anyone fired. 😛

In other news, if you are a registered Davezilla reader, you now have the ability to add avatars (little icons of yourselves) next to your posts! Just login to the link in the upper right (it will ask you to register first), go to your user page and use the Your Avatar tab.

Clamping?

04 March, 2006Posted inUncategorized29 Comments
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Fess up!

03 March, 2006Posted inObservations38 Comments
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Notes to Self, No. 5,890-5,895

01 March, 2006Posted inObservations37 Comments
The next time you press your shirt, make sure you iron both sides before wearing the shirt to work Yes, you really do have a bottle of soy sauce from 2002 to throw away The next time you decide to delete an old folder from the server, make sure you've … already downloaded it first. Damn. When you fly back to Arkansas this weekend, do not lose the parking pass. Again. The next time you believe an optometrist who says, "Transition lenses will darken 60% of sunlight", make sure she promises they will work while driving too (the only reason…

McGavin-Knotts-Weaver Coincidences

28 February, 2006Posted inOriginal Humor59 Comments
All three had cheesy television shows in the 1970s All three were male actors All three favored ugly hats All three starred in TV roles as law enforcement officers All three died within 24 hours of each other Their birth months are sequential (McGavin = May, Weaver = June, Knotts = July) Darren McGavin has an 'a' in his first and last name Don Knotts has an 'o' in his first and last name Dennis Weaver has an 'e' in his first and last name All three have 2 'n's in between their first and last names The number of…

Caption Time #101

27 February, 2006Posted inObservations38 Comments
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What should I do today?

26 February, 2006Posted inObservations44 Comments
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Come again?

25 February, 2006Posted inUncategorized35 Comments
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Why I hate local news coverage, II

24 February, 2006Posted inObservations55 Comments
To call a local news anchor a skilled reporter is like calling a Pekinese one of the World's deadliest predators. Here are some of the statements that made me want to take an acetylene torch to my television. We have everything you need for the Olympics Aside from providing a channel, what are you giving me? Free tickets to Italy? A training coach? A weeks' worth of beer and pretzels? There could be another terrorist attack on US soil As if the terrorists hate our dirt. This medal ends a 30-year curse on the American team Curse? What curse? Have…

Caption Time #100

23 February, 2006Posted inCaption Time48 Comments
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