The elements of a good story

Longtime readers may recall an incident in December, 2004 involving my neighbor leaving her thong on the welcome mat. On Friday evening, I heard her and two of her drunk girlfriends stumbling up the stairs. After a lot of giggling and swearing, I clearly heard my neighbor plead, “Don’t pee in the cup! I’ll find my keys.”

Needless to say, that got my attention. I ventured out into the hallway to see if there were any “accidents” on the carpeting. No, but I did find a miniskirt, thong and Ò€¦ paperclip. It’s the paperclip that intrigues me most.

Any guesses?

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58 thoughts on “All the elements of a good story

  1. I’m guessing MacGuyver has moved into your building and was interrupted in his attempts to assemble a trap for the mysterious Davezilla, but what do I know? This looks like a job for…Barney Fife! πŸ˜€

  2. Maybey, your neighbor likes you or she’s stalking you, either way I would expect more presents on your doorstep. :wtf:

  3. Maybe, Dave old man, they were a group of nymphomanic CPAs, bringing their work home with them. In the National Association of Certified Public Accountants, the sign of a skirt, thong and sacred paper clip left on a door step means….”Come take us and help us multiply!”

  4. I have NEVER used a paper clip for a wardrobe malfunctiom. Now had it been a binder clip, I could have suggested at least 3 uses.

    LMAO Lung. :java:

  5. perhaps they were going to use the paper clip to pick the lock, since she couldn’t find her keys? At least she didn’t pee on the carpet… πŸ˜›

  6. People should always have a paper clip with them, you never know when it might come in handy after a night of heavy drinking. Plus they’re great at parties!

  7. The little girl next door was wearing big mama’s thong. Hence the paperclip. or….
    Paris Hiltons latest fad is catching on “paperclip jewelry…thats hot!”

  8. When a woman asks a man, “Is that a paperclip in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?” You know you’ve got troubles.

  9. Eww, is it just me or does that thong have a yellowish tinge to the bottom of it. Im not so sure she made it into the door.

  10. [Comment ID #26875 will be quoted here]
    No, thankfully that was the flash from my digital. It seemed clean. Granted, I did not get too close.

  11. LMAO Meka!

    But the only thing I was thinking was that the paperclip could have been to hold the thong together. But why did it burst?

    Dave, is she fat?

  12. For the record, I try to keep my :thong: on my ass. I agree with everyone else, Dave. Your neighbors sound skanky!

  13. Sorry Dave! The paper clip held an open invitation to the bearer for freaky monkey sex, and I’m afraid I beat you to it!! I’m mailing it back to you, just ignore the stains! πŸ˜›

  14. the paper clip is a chinese guys dick helper.
    dick helper-some thing added on to a dick to help the woman feel it inside her

  15. [Comment ID #27162 will be quoted here]
    Do you practice being an asshole, or does it come naturally?

  16. actually the “skirt” is a top, the elastic part covers the boobs…. it probly just slipped off her and on the way down got caught on the paperclip that held the condom on her panties and pulled them down with it. she probly noticed and picked the condom up, cuz you know she’ll need it.

  17. [Comment ID #28347 will be quoted here]

    Doesn’t that just paint a very strange, but pleasant picture? Hey Dave, too bad you only got to see the…um…party droppings at your door…THAT would’ve made a great story.

  18. [Comment ID #26883 will be quoted here]

    Ditto, easy way to do it, stop her in the hall ask her if you could take her picture for the memories(tried it before and it worked)just in case you ever moved again. Then we ALL could see what your apparently drunken, nymphomaniac, paperclip-fetished, party-girl neighbor looks like. Just for our memories…that all…really.

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