All the elements of a good story

The elements of a good story

Longtime readers may recall an incident in December, 2004 involving my neighbor leaving her thong on the welcome mat. On Friday evening, I heard her and two of her drunk girlfriends stumbling up the stairs. After a lot of giggling and swearing, I clearly heard my neighbor plead, “Don’t pee in the cup! I’ll find my keys.”

Needless to say, that got my attention. I ventured out into the hallway to see if there were any “accidents” on the carpeting. No, but I did find a miniskirt, thong and รขโ‚ฌยฆ paperclip. It’s the paperclip that intrigues me most.

Any guesses?

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Join the conversation

comment 58 comments
  • Darrell

    OMG that’s NOT a paperclip! I hope you didn’t touch it or anything.

  • Spud

    One paper clip to bind them
    and
    in the darkness to find them.

    :geek:

  • Minnie

    LOL Spud. Well said.

  • Minnie

    The paper clip might have been used to hold the loosened elastic wasitband of the thongs?
    ๐Ÿ˜ˆ

  • JFLY

    I’m guessing MacGuyver has moved into your building and was interrupted in his attempts to assemble a trap for the mysterious Davezilla, but what do I know? This looks like a job for…Barney Fife! ๐Ÿ˜€

  • justjim

    :wang: Looks like a wonderful “open invitation” to me…. I’ll be right up! ๐Ÿ™„

  • kismet

    Well, had to pee really bad. Maybe she was trying to “pinch it off.” ๐Ÿ˜•

  • Shannon

    Maybey, your neighbor likes you or she’s stalking you, either way I would expect more presents on your doorstep. :wtf:

  • mitch

    Maybe, Dave old man, they were a group of nymphomanic CPAs, bringing their work home with them. In the National Association of Certified Public Accountants, the sign of a skirt, thong and sacred paper clip left on a door step means….”Come take us and help us multiply!”

  • Anna

    Personally, I think it’s time to move.

  • Anna

    Wow, I’m proud of me for getting that thingie next to my name.

  • justjim

    I had a thingy next to my name once… but a divorce settled that! ๐Ÿ™„

  • Lung the Younger

    Jeez, I hade when that happens….the clock strikes midnight and your date turns into a paperclip.

  • tenderflower

    I have NEVER used a paper clip for a wardrobe malfunctiom. Now had it been a binder clip, I could have suggested at least 3 uses.

    LMAO Lung. :java:

  • frisko

    What is the paper looking thingy by the thong….GAWD I hope it isn’t a panty liner.

  • Nef

    I think they were trying to pick the lock.

  • Nikki

    I’ve yet to pick a lock with a paper clip.

  • Dixie Chick

    perhaps they were going to use the paper clip to pick the lock, since she couldn’t find her keys? At least she didn’t pee on the carpet… ๐Ÿ˜›

  • Esther

    I’m thinkin’ the paper clip was part of a piercing. ๐Ÿ˜›

  • Duke

    Either you are a weirdness magnet, or you have an awesome imagination.
    ๐Ÿ˜•

  • Other April

    What’s to guess?

    It’s obviousry the aftermath of a supplies party.

  • Bjorn Freeh

    I would’ve been more intrigued if there had not been a paper clip present.

    :wtf:

  • Bjorn Freeh

    [Comment ID #26763 will be quoted here]

    Wish I had thought of that, Other!
    ๐Ÿ˜†

  • Nikki

    Obviousry!

  • Craig

    I wish i lived next door to chicks that jump out of there outfits in the hallway. :wang:

  • scamper

    Paperclip = redneck birth control, unfourtunitly all control has been lost at this point.

  • Ace

    People should always have a paper clip with them, you never know when it might come in handy after a night of heavy drinking. Plus they’re great at parties!

  • Jeffro

    The little girl next door was wearing big mama’s thong. Hence the paperclip. or….
    Paris Hiltons latest fad is catching on “paperclip jewelry…thats hot!”

  • Paul

    The paperclip held the note that identified the thong as belonging to (insert name here).

  • Patrick

    MacGyver scored! Lucky bastard. Do you think he was going to bend the paperclip into an IUD?

  • frisko

    Patrick,
    That is nasty.
    love Hoop

  • rust

    Hey! You found CLIPPY! I wondered where he went…

  • Lace Valentine

    When a woman asks a man, “Is that a paperclip in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?” You know you’ve got troubles.

  • Burnsy

    Eww, is it just me or does that thong have a yellowish tinge to the bottom of it. Im not so sure she made it into the door.

  • Meka

    She mated with the tin man from Wizard of Oz and that is one of his pubic hairs.

  • djemm

    Nope more like the tin man kidnaped her ass for peeing on his carpet ๐Ÿ˜›

  • Davezilla

    [Comment ID #26875 will be quoted here]
    No, thankfully that was the flash from my digital. It seemed clean. Granted, I did not get too close.

  • Jeffro

    Seems to me that that IS a welcome mat. I feel welcome already :wang:

  • Jeffro

    Hey dave. Any pics of the neighbor? I need a visual ๐Ÿ˜ˆ

  • Pappy

    LMAO Meka!

    But the only thing I was thinking was that the paperclip could have been to hold the thong together. But why did it burst?

    Dave, is she fat?

  • Becky

    Hey how long does it take to get a password:(….I have a way cool pic:( โ“

  • larfus

    I think the paper clip was holding condom packs to the inside of the thong. The always prepared attitude. :thong:

  • Mandy

    For the record, I try to keep my :thong: on my ass. I agree with everyone else, Dave. Your neighbors sound skanky!

  • Davezilla

    [Comment ID #26887 will be quoted here]

    It doesn’t take any amount of time, Becky. You make your own passwords up. :mrgreen:

  • phil

    i’m thinkin’ it’s time to invite these chicks over for a couple of drinks…. ๐Ÿ˜ˆ

  • cbatdux

    Clip Tart

  • brainchallenged

    I wondered where I left my things!! DeJavue

  • Duker

    Sorry Dave! The paper clip held an open invitation to the bearer for freaky monkey sex, and I’m afraid I beat you to it!! I’m mailing it back to you, just ignore the stains! ๐Ÿ˜›

  • logan

    the paper clip is a chinese guys dick helper.
    dick helper-some thing added on to a dick to help the woman feel it inside her

  • Mandy

    [Comment ID #27162 will be quoted here]
    Do you practice being an asshole, or does it come naturally?
    ๐Ÿ‘ฟ

  • Spud

    heh!

  • Starla

    Maybe she was stealing office supplies?

  • Paige

    :wtf:

  • Davezilla

    [Comment ID #27359 will be quoted here]

    I’d hate to think she was smuggling them in there :wtf:

  • Lesloveskittens

    actually the “skirt” is a top, the elastic part covers the boobs…. it probly just slipped off her and on the way down got caught on the paperclip that held the condom on her panties and pulled them down with it. she probly noticed and picked the condom up, cuz you know she’ll need it.

  • Master Solace

    [Comment ID #28347 will be quoted here]

    Doesn’t that just paint a very strange, but pleasant picture? Hey Dave, too bad you only got to see the…um…party droppings at your door…THAT would’ve made a great story.

  • Master Solace

    [Comment ID #26883 will be quoted here]

    Ditto, easy way to do it, stop her in the hall ask her if you could take her picture for the memories(tried it before and it worked)just in case you ever moved again. Then we ALL could see what your apparently drunken, nymphomaniac, paperclip-fetished, party-girl neighbor looks like. Just for our memories…that all…really.

  • kit

    sounds great

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