Month: November 2005
-
Here to rock you
viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra alternative to viagra buy generic viagra purchase viagra online free viagra without…
Written by
-
Complete this sentence #27
Longtime reader Dante sent in an excellent idea: Good thing, too. I was too busy to come up with a post! Here’s the idea: I start a story and each one of you continues it. Here’s the catch: You can only add one word per comment. Got that? One word. Lurkers? You help out, too.…
Written by
-
Podcast interview
Recently I was interviewed by the fine folks at The Dropcast. The interview is now online in three formats: itunes direct download and stream viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side…
Written by
-
Overheard: Laundromat Edition
Neighbor: “Crappy weather, huh?” Me: “Yeah, it sure as Hell is.” Neighbor: “Stepped in every gaddampt puddle tanight.” Me: “Oh?” Neighbor: “Yeaaaaaah. Went to the Mervyn’s sale. They’re going outta business.” Me: “I hadn’t heard.” Neighbor: “Oh sure, and wouldn’t ya know it? They were closed.” Me: “That’s a drag, eh?” Neighbor: “Yeaaaaaah. I really…
Written by
-
Guide to Artists’ Models No. 6: The Dribbler
The Dribbler Despite his brutish, troll-like appearance, the Dribbler is an excellent model, able to hold unchallenging poses for an hour without tiring. Yes, he has more body odor and hair than a Musk Ox. Yes, he has 5:00 shadow by 9:15 am. These are all excusable and minor in comparison to the trait that…
Written by
-
Guide to Artists’ Models No. 5: Former Fashion Model
The Former Fashion Model At first glance, the first year art student may assume the professor had brought a cadaver for the class to draw. Then the cadaver coughs, a miserable, cancerous cough that produces more than a few moths and dust. It is not a cadaver, but a former fashion model, driven to nude…
Written by
-
Notes to Self, No. 5,801, Breakfast Edition
When making oatmeal, the required steps are: Boil water Add dried oatmeal to bowl Add the water to the oatmeal before eating viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female…
Written by
-
Guide to Artists’ Models No. 4: The Closet Pervert
The Closet Pervert Possibly the ugliest known human (certainly the ugliest person I’ve ever drawn) is the Closet Pervert. At only thirty-three, he looks closer to ninety-seven, owing to chronic masturbation which has sucked away his life force. With his greying locks, he resembles one of the Founding Fathers, but as no woman in her…
Written by
-
Guide to Artists’ Models No. 3: The Hippie Chick
The Hippie Chick Making a dramatic resurgence in popularity in recent years, the Earth Mother’s younger, inebriated equivalent, the Hippie Chick is a sight to behold. Or flee from. Look for silky hair, wavy, golden-red and reaching almost to the floor—and that’s just her armpit hair. Her skin is either sun-freckled or drug-acned, and I…
Written by
-
Guide to Artists’ Models No. 2: The Nudist
Guide to Artists’ Models No. 2: The Nudist Second only in popularity to The Earth Mother, The Nudist is usually an elderly gentleman, with a silver ponytail collected from his few remaining strands of hair. His buttocks are withered as raisins and his hairy stomach hangs from him like a weaverbird nest. The Nudist loves…
Written by
-
Guide to Artists’ Models No. 1: The Earth Mother
Guide to Artists’ Models No. 1: The Earth Mother The Earth Mother is probably the most common of artists’ models. A vast expanse of doughy flesh topped with a mop of unshorn hair, she is happiest walking aboutau naturale in the presence of young men. The Earth Mother feels it is her duty on earth…
Written by
-
If or if not my butt was pointy…
From The Schoolyard Rhyme Project: UNITED STATES Baby, baby Stick your head in gravy Wash it out with bubble gum and send it to the Navy SOUTH AFRICA Yum yum bubble gum Stick your finger up your bum If it’s nice, lick it twice Yum yum bubble gum DENMARK Hvis og hvis min røv var…
Written by
You must be logged in to post a comment.