Guide to Artists’ Models No. 2: The Nudist
Nude Model No. 2,The NudistSecond only in popularity to The Earth Mother, The Nudist is usually an elderly gentleman, with a silver ponytail collected from his few remaining strands of hair. His buttocks are withered as raisins and his hairy stomach hangs from him like a weaverbird nest.

The Nudist loves the outdoors and finds no greater pleasure than sunbathing on the front lawn, while waving casually to his astonished neighbors. He’s retired from his corporate job and now spends his days making wine in his basement in the nude, reading “Naturist” magazines while nude, and riding his Harley, in the nude.


  1. “Pretty young thing like you confined in all that clothing. It ain’t natural.”
  2. “Course, me and my ladyfriend still have sex from time to time. We did it last night on the bench you’re sitting on.”
  3. “How’s the Cabernet? You know I was nude when I made that.”
  4. “I’m just trying to get back to Eden. Fruits, nuts and nude folk. How God intended it.”
  5. “I know your aunt! We shared a hot tub up north. Nude.”

34 thoughts on “Guide to Artists’ Models No. 2: The Nudist

  1. Good Lord, that’s a nasty crack! It seems the Nudist probably suffers from the dreaded Dik-Du disease. (His belly sticks out, further than his Dik-Du) :limp: Also most likely a naturalist because of Dunlap (His gut Dunlapped over his belt)

  2. Shakespeare, yes. But I think the pose is more like “Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him, Horatio

    On second thought the line ought to be from Lear, “Nothing can come of [wearing] nothing

  3. I’m truly loving this series. It reminds me of some of the more “memorable” models I encountered in art school.

    I bet this guy had a bunch of faded tattoos down his thighs and back, too.

  4. You’re killin’ us dave! But thank you for not subjecting us to the front view Oh I can only imagine!:razz:

  5. OK… I am now convinced that every male nude model in the world is trained in the “one foot forward, one arm extended” pose.

    Followed by “other foot forward, two arms extended”

    Followed by…

    “one foot forward, one hand on hip”

  6. O.K. Who took the cheap shot of Willy Nelson. and by the way the neighbors cat your looking for, look no more if you look close enough you can see it stuck in the nudist’s butt crack.

  7. :razz:Yes, a cup of tea would be quite nice. This is a beautiful print of “Nude descending a staircase” It’s what I do every morning.:wtf:

  8. ❗ i agree that definately *scar’d* me almost enough to not ever stay married long enough for my old man to get that ugly

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