Tag: Observations
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Rules to live by
Actual rules of thumb from around the country (and a few of my own). YMMV. The year that you begin getting chest hair is the same year the hair on your head will begin to recede faster than the growth rate. (Same rule applies to men.) — MARK RYAN, Dallas, TX Never buy a car…
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Phrases I could go the rest of my life without hearing again
“Ohio is this year’s Florida.†[Ohio has beaches and sharks? Cool, that’s only an hour’s drive for me.] “They’re playing this game like they’re running for county sheriff.†[Actually, they’re playing it like they’re running for President] “It’s a dead-heat. Just too close to call.†[What was your first clue?] “Sure the popular vote is…
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America’s Best
Today we get to exercise our right as American citizens once again. That sacred right to choose between the best the country has to offer. Maybe that’s a sad commentary on our times that the best is barely adequate, no matter the choice. That won’t stop me. My choice is already made up. I’ll have…
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Complete this sentence #13
The proper way to extinguish a campfire is to first stamp out the __________ with your __________ , and then finish off by dousing it with a generous bucket of __________ . viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free…
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Curses!
Now that the Boston Red Sox have finally won the Word Series for the first time since 1918, the Curse of the Bambino has finally been broken. This leads us to an interesting point. Without the yearly ritual of disappointment for Red Sox fans, what will they do with their lives? They no longer have…
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Incident at table 14
[SCENE: Mariko sushi restaurant in Toronto] Davezilla: Did you see what just walked in? Natalie: Unfortunately. [15 minutes later] Natalie: I swear I can actually hear her eating! Davezilla: I can, too. Oh Gawd. Don’t turn around. Natalie: What? What’s it doing? Davezilla: Trust me. You do not want to know! Natalie: OK, well tell…
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Note to self: 5,069
When you can hear sushi being eaten by someone 15 feet away, assume it will look as disgusting as it sounds and resist the temptation to gawk. [More details on this later. It’s worth it.] viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl…
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Yes, Virginia. There is a Spammer Clause
Many of you have been contacting me over the last two weeks because your comments haven’t been going through. The reason it happens is I am part of a top-secret government blogging experiment WordPress uses a blacklist for certain words that spammers seem enjoy. You see, spammers know full well that readers of Davezilla enjoy…
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Pssst…
Tag! You’re it! 😛 viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra alternative to viagra buy generic viagra purchase viagra…
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Stupid Tattoos No. 2
It’s been three years since I wrote Part 1 of Stupid Tattoos. I’ve thought of a few since then. 😉 Macaulay Culkin in Home Alone The Coke vs. Pepsi Challenge Scabies The Louisiana Purchase The Polish Bicycle Team Kerry’s Health Plan Someone else’s nipple ReV.JeLLyBaBY and mikeB living naked in a cave Bill O’Reilly having…
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Note to self: 5,047
The next time you get a contact allergy that develops a rash, and everyone tells you not to scratch it, listen to them. 🙁 viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side…
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Note to self: 5,023
When you’re washing your face in the shower, no matter how tempting, don’t inhale. viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices…
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