Recent Effluvia:

Ever see women with ridiculously long nails? Grown to a length where they begin to curl into talons and turn yellowish? There are some men that grow them long too, but the majority are women. I’ve always wondered how these people get through their every day lives. Think about the things that would be difficult and painful, if not impossible to do with nails like that.

1. Getting in and out of a taxi
2. Sending a text message
3. Zipping up a zipper
4. Un/Lacing a corset
5. Un/Hooking a bra
6. Juggling axes
7. Braiding hair
8. Push-ups
9. Jenga!
10. Playing hockey
11. Reading Braille
12. Using a jackhammer
13. Putting in contact lenses
14. Playing Cat’s Cradle
15. Counting stolen loot
16. Using chopsticks
17. Performing a Bris
18. Self-gratification
19. Soldering electrical equipment
20. Wiping a baby’s bum and changing the diaper