Tech Support Person in Bangladesh: “Good evening and hello today. I am please to help you very much.”
Clueless computer user in Duluth: “It’s morning, sonny. Do you know stuff about computers and all cause I don’t know a thing.”
Tech Support: “Yes, sir. I am having the Microsoft Certification last year.”
Clueless in Duluth: ] “It’s ma’am, not sir. Microsoft huh? What if I have an Apple?”
Tech Support: “I am sorry sir, but this is a technical help phone is. We are having Microsoft problem helpings daily every day. We do not service the Apple computers is. I do know something about them. Are you on OS X?”
Clueless in Duluth: ] “Oh Ess Who? How th’ Hell should I know? I just bought the thing.”
Tech Support: “Did you pay more than one thousand dollars US for it?”
Clueless in Duluth: ] “Hell no! Got it on sale at the Costco for $400.”
Tech Support: “Then it is not an Apple! You are having the Windows are.”
Clueless in Duluth: ] “Oh. Yeah, that’s what I thought. But it don’t work.”
Tech Support: “Please to tell me what it is doing now.”
Clueless in Duluth: ] “What?”
Tech Support: “What is your computer doing is.”
Clueless in Duluth: ] “It is doing nothing but laying there. Is.”
Tech Support: “There is power in the home?”
Clueless in Duluth: ] “Of course! Got the A/C set on Yukon.”
Tech Support: “And the computer is receiving the power is?”
Clueless in Duluth: ] “Look, no speakee Chinesee. What’s wrong with th’ damn thing?”
Tech Support: “What is the monitor is doing?”
Clueless in Duluth: ] “The Cha-Cha for all I care. It’s all dark and useless. Like you.”
Tech Support: “Ahem. I am thinking you are not recalling to plug in the hard drive. Yes?”
Clueless in Duluth: ] “No. I am not forgetting. No one told me to. Seems to be working now. You must have fixed the Intraweb from befoozling again.”
Tech Support: “I would like very much to kick you.”
Clueless in Duluth: ] “Is.”
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