People we can safely dislike #2

14 July, 2004Posted inObservations15 Comments
Guys who wear t-shirts with tuxedos printed on them. People who finish their sentences by clucking their tongue. Every time. I don't mind the odd lawn gnome or statue of Mary, but when it gets to be a village… People whose entire philosophical base can be summarized through the 18 bumperstickers littering their Chevy Astro. Coworkers who feel every situation warrants a line from Homer Simpson. People who take "pitchers" with their "point 'n' snaps". Anyone who whips out their gold card at the dollar store Men who claim to have confronted and fought off Bigfoot. Drivers who take pains…

All right, who befoozled the Intraweb again?

08 July, 2004Posted inObservations20 Comments
Tech Support Person in Bangladesh: "Good evening and hello today. I am please to help you very much." Clueless computer user in Duluth: "It's morning, sonny. Do you know stuff about computers and all cause I don't know a thing." Tech Support: "Yes, sir. I am having the Microsoft Certification last year." Clueless in Duluth: ] "It's ma'am, not sir. Microsoft huh? What if I have an Apple?" Tech Support: "I am sorry sir, but this is a technical help phone is. We are having Microsoft problem helpings daily every day. We do not service the Apple computers is. I…

Davezilla’s Dictionary #528

04 July, 2004Posted inwtf14 Comments
Apecurious: [APE-ih-KYUR-ee-us] Noun One who considers himself a gourmand, but is in fact utterly devoid of basic table etiquette. Bistrough: [BEESE-troff] Noun An overpriced, overrated, trendy restaurant with food not suitable for most scavenging mammals. Dipster:* [DIP-stir] Noun A poseur hipster. Faute Cuisine:* [FOTE-kwee-zine] Noun The food served at a Bistrough; beautifully presented, yet completely inedible. Lipster: [LIP-stir] Noun One who talks the hipster talk, yet remains unproven to his colleagues. New Yorkies: [NU York-eez] Noun Wealthy New York apartment widows possessing one or more pint-sized yippy dogs. Queue Vulture: [Q-VUHL-chur] Noun Any of a number of predatory scavengers that…