Category: Observations
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Things Mother never said
“You forgot your M-80s and gasoline.” “Be a dear and go play in the streets.” “You need a louder car stereo. I get nervous when you’re a mile away and I can barely hear you.” “I found the cutest snake in the garden today…” “I’m thinking of redecorating the kitchen in a ‘vampires and spiders’…
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Note to self: 4,699
Chocolate ice cream and red ale? Not so much. viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra alternative to viagra…
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Story time #1
“After our adventurers had finished polishing all the troll’s silverware, swept his dungeon and adjusted his satellite TV dish, they decided to … ” [Add your lines and keep the story going] viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free…
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God is your co-writer
Christianity is a beautiful religion with a big problem. Marketing. No other religion feels so compelled to proselytize through the dubious medium of bumper stickers (except Wiccans, and they just do it to be silly). The bumper stickers would be fine … if they made any sense. Read some of the following stickers (all real,…
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Welcome to my world
Ever watched the credits roll at the cinema or on television all the way to the end? Your eyes get so used to the upward motion of the credits that when they finally stop your eyes suddenly get the illusion that the room is falling slightly. My whole life is like that. viagra free viagra…
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People we can safely dislike #2
Guys who wear t-shirts with tuxedos printed on them. People who finish their sentences by clucking their tongue. Every time. I don’t mind the odd lawn gnome or statue of Mary, but when it gets to be a village… People whose entire philosophical base can be summarized through the 18 bumperstickers littering their Chevy Astro.…
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All right, who befoozled the Intraweb again?
Tech Support Person in Bangladesh: “Good evening and hello today. I am please to help you very much.” Clueless computer user in Duluth: “It’s morning, sonny. Do you know stuff about computers and all cause I don’t know a thing.” Tech Support: “Yes, sir. I am having the Microsoft Certification last year.” Clueless in Duluth:…
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What Would Davezilla Do?
If you were given one million dollars to spend on your loved ones, and only one week to do it, how would you cheat to keep it all for yourself?
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Consensus needed
Does the message on her shorts say: Spoiled Soiled Oiled Foiled Boiled Who cares? Nice ass!
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Getting laid
The Management is currently getting laid. Please check back at a more convenient time when sexual escapades have subsided. Please note that this will only be a temporary cessation.
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My Private Hell
There is a theory that each man and woman has a personal Hell waiting for them. No, not the checkout line at Starbucks. I mean after we die, sillies. A Hell comprised of our worst fears. Surely then, my hell would include: Environment of Hell: All the inhabitants of Hell are clowns. They are all…
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