Observations

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Christianity is a beautiful religion with a big problem. Marketing. No other religion feels so compelled to proselytize through the dubious medium of bumper stickers (except Wiccans, and they just do it to be silly). The bumper stickers would be fine … if they made any sense. Read some of the following stickers (all real, I might add) and see if any of them would make you feel compelled to convert. It's hard to stumble when you're on your knees. (Is this about prayer or blowjobs?) Make your eternal reservations now -- 'smoking' or 'non-smoking'? As sure as God puts…

Ever watched the credits roll at the cinema or on television all the way to the end? Your eyes get so used to the upward motion of the credits that when they finally stop your eyes suddenly get the illusion that the room is falling slightly. My whole life is like that.viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra alternative to viagra buy generic viagra…

If you were given one million dollars to spend on your loved ones, and only one week to do it, how would you cheat to keep it all for yourself?

The Management is currently getting laid. Please check back at a more convenient time when sexual escapades have subsided. Please note that this will only be a temporary cessation.

There is a theory that each man and woman has a personal Hell waiting for them. No, not the checkout line at Starbucks. I mean after we die, sillies. A Hell comprised of our worst fears. Surely then, my hell would include: Environment of Hell: All the inhabitants of Hell are clowns. They are all named Biff. Each one pronounces "Biff" differently and takes great offense should you mispronounce it. Everything is painted puce. There are old, buzzing neon Bud Light signs covering every wall. There are no outdoors. Hell is one enormous indoor mall populated with screaming toddlers who…