Category: Observations
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Caption Time #101
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What should I do today?
Seriously. This is my first entire day off since being promoted in January. What should I do with my day? I am taking suggestions. Be creative. viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women…
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Why I hate local news coverage, II
To call a local news anchor a skilled reporter is like calling a Pekinese one of the World’s deadliest predators. Here are some of the statements that made me want to take an acetylene torch to my television. We have everything you need for the Olympics Aside from providing a channel, what are you giving…
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How to annoy the drive through clerk
“I’ll have a small Coke, no onions.” “What wine goes with that?” “I don’t know what I want. You pick.” “I’m not wearing underwear.” Do you have kids’ meals?” [wait for response] “No, I meant for goats.” “Do you come here often?” “Will you walk my dog for me?” “Can you hear me now?” “May…
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Little things mean a lot
Ever notice that littlest things can be the most annoying? For example: Eating a decent bowl of clam chowder and suddenly biting into sand Walking through a yard and getting a single strand of spiderweb across your cheek, which means you will be feeling the damned thing for the next two hours Watching someone speak…
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Complete this joke
So this bear and this hooker go into a bar… viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra alternative to…
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Valentines Day cards I’d like to see ♥
Happy Valentines Day, darling!You can get naked now. I never thought I’d meet a womanwho was such a perfect combinationof sensitivity, beauty and grace.Plus you swallow. I even cleaned the toilet seat for you. Three Magical Words: Get naked now. My heart wants to say I love you.My penis wants to say something, too. Your…
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Complete this Sentence, #31
“To one extent, if you’ve seen one _______ you’ve seen them all” viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra…
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Surefire ways to get your ass kicked in Arkansas
“Who are the Razorbacks?” “I don’t eat steak.” “You have a college basketball team?” “Say y’all again.” “How come all your food is fried?” “Look! She’s wearing camouflage downtown.” “Football is too violent.” “I love a good quiche.” “I just bought a toy Yorkie to guard the house.” “Cats are so much better than dogs.”…
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How to drive in winter
Always have an ample supply of junk food at hand Be mindful of other drivers Use turn signals frequently Play restful music to soothe nerves When weather worsens: Begin furiously slamming down junk food, especially those little Hershey’s Miniatures Remember that other drivers are not as important as you are Use horn frequently and accelerate…
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Note to Self, No. 5,811
The next time you go to the laundromat, ensure that the box of Arm & Hammer you are taking with you is detergent—not cat litter. That was embarrassing.
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Four things meme
I’m not normally one to post memes here, but I was tagged by the famous Joe Lamantia, so I couldn’t say no. Four jobs I’ve had Four movies I can watch over and over Four places I’ve lived Four TV shows I love Four places I’ve vacationed Four of my favorite dishes Four sites I…
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