Google has some interesting autofill suggestions
Ever noticed how Google will start to autofill suggestions as you type? This can lead to some pretty weird suggestions (which means all of us are typing in some really weird things numerous times). This is what I got by typing in "what are these s" and waiting for it to suggest something. Some other fun ones to try: what are these p; 4th result is, "What are these purple boxes in trees?" what are these t; 6th result is, "What are these things on my face?" why did you a; 3rd result is, "Why did you apply methylene blue…
More Unfortunate URLs
Haven't done these in a few years! The following URLs are all unintentionally funny and all real companies. 1hourscrap.com achildshaven.com amigonefuneralhome.com apetit.com blindsexpress.com cumbooks.co.za [A Christian bookstore offering "Cum Blessings"] pro-lapse.com doggiestyles.co.uk ferrethandjobs.com [My personal favorite] ilovebigals.com ladrape.co.uk masterbaitonline.com michaelspornanimation.com oddsexchange.com oldmanshaven.com penisland.net [A Zilla Girl Destination] semensemble.org therapistschoice.com www.anker.com
What a fish in an aquarium is thinking
Ohhhhh geez. What's with the florescent light, buddy? I would kill for some eyelids right about now. [swims a bit] Christ on a crutch. Dere's dat damn Pufferfish again. Swimming by my filter tube! Don't he know that's my turf? I better shows him who's boss around here. [swims up] Hey! Yo, Puffie! Yeah, you. Get yer no good, bloated belly-havin' prickly-ass outta my turf! What? Oh is dat a fact? Listen pal. I been in dis tank since you was a fry. I remember the day dey dropped your bag in the tank. Dere goes the neighborhood I says.…
Friday Question #13
What's the worst thing that's happened to you while driving? I ask because while driving home from the airport yesterday, a large Wolf Spider jumped off my visor and landed on my forearm
What Your Language Sounds Like To Me
Possibly the most offensive post I have ever written. But since I am picking on everyone's language, it's sort of equal opportunity offensiveness. Enjoy! Farsi: Like a Spaniard with Downs Syndrome is reciting the German alphabet while eating toast Welsh: Like a foppish Englishman with a cleft palette is choking on a spider Vietnamese: I concur with David Sedaris who wrote, "While our language flows from our mouths, the Vietnamese language sounds as if it is being forced from the speaker by a series of heavy and merciless blows to the stomach." Hawaiian: Like American toddlers making up nonsense syllables…
Song of Solomon, Deconstructed
If you've ever read the Song of Solomon in the bible—a love poem between two lovers—then you've read one of the weirdest books ever. The way the woman is described makes her sound like something only H.P. Lovecraft could conceive of. In fact, this guy may have been writing about Cthulhu. If I told my fiancée that her breasts looked like two deer and her teeth like sheep, I think I'd be sleeping on the couch for a month. Let's look at a few choice verses: Her: # Behold, thou art fair, my love; behold, thou art fair; thou hast…
More people we can safely dislike #22
Oh man. I have been subjected to appalling grammar this week. I want to put these folks under citizens arrest … for the murder of the English language! People who say "360°" when they meant "180°," as in "His attitude went 360°." That doesn't mean he changed his attitude. That means it's right back where it started, fucktard. People who mix up there, their and they're. People who can't recall the simple 'i' before 'e' rule. Amerikans who kant spell rite. (See below)
New takes on old phrases
Try using some of these in a business meeting, or with a customer this week. Shit or get off the Pope It's not pocket science It is what it was A jack of all maids Like white on color Familiarity breeds mice Don't rock the goat The show must grow lawns Caught with his pants brown Sharp as a stack
Tourism Rule No. 23: Blend In
Call me picky, but this isn't how one blends in when wandering about Detroit.
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