Category: Observations

  • Sex on a Hot Tin Roof

    I used to have a cat named Sex. I didn’t name it. My roommate Chris H. had the honors. He was inspired by a mutual friend, Kevin F. who had cats named Gravity and Reality. Chris’ rationale was it would be hilarious to yell “SEEEEEEEEX! Here Sex! Come on, pussy,” across the neighborhood. Consequently we…

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    Davezilla

  • More People We Can Safely Dislike #23: Travel Edition

    Oh my readers, I have not abandoned you. I am working myself to death slowly. I’ve been in 5 states in four days. Anyway, all this travel got me hating on folks again, so here’s my travel edition of more people we can safely dislike. UPDATE: No idea how comments got turned off! They are…

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    Davezilla

  • Really? Also, um OWWWW!

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    Davezilla

  • Google has some interesting autofill suggestions

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    Ever noticed how Google will start to autofill suggestions as you type? This can lead to some pretty weird suggestions (which means all of us are typing in some really weird things numerous times). This is what I got by typing in “what are these s” and waiting for it to suggest something. Some other…

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    Davezilla

  • Caption Time #290

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    Davezilla

  • More Unfortunate URLs

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    Haven’t done these in a few years! The following URLs are all unintentionally funny and all real companies. 1hourscrap.com achildshaven.com amigonefuneralhome.com apetit.com blindsexpress.com cumbooks.co.za [A Christian bookstore offering “Cum Blessings”] pro-lapse.com doggiestyles.co.uk ferrethandjobs.com [My personal favorite] ilovebigals.com ladrape.co.uk masterbaitonline.com michaelspornanimation.com oddsexchange.com oldmanshaven.com penisland.net [A Zilla Girl Destination] semensemble.org therapistschoice.com www.anker.com

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    Davezilla

  • What a fish in an aquarium is thinking

    Ohhhhh geez. What’s with the florescent light, buddy? I would kill for some eyelids right about now. [swims a bit] Christ on a crutch. Dere’s dat damn Pufferfish again. Swimming by my filter tube! Don’t he know that’s my turf? I better shows him who’s boss around here. [swims up] Hey! Yo, Puffie! Yeah, you.…

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    Davezilla

  • Friday Question #13

      What’s the worst thing that’s happened to you while driving? I ask because while driving home from the airport yesterday, a large Wolf Spider jumped off my visor and landed on my forearm

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    Davezilla

  • Friday Question #12

      Do you have any photos online that you rather wish weren’t?  

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    Davezilla

  • What Your Language Sounds Like To Me

    Possibly the most offensive post I have ever written. But since I am picking on everyone’s language, it’s sort of equal opportunity offensiveness. Enjoy! Farsi: Like a Spaniard with Downs Syndrome is reciting the German alphabet while eating toast Welsh: Like a foppish Englishman with a cleft palette is choking on a spider Vietnamese: I…

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    Davezilla

  • Song of Solomon, Deconstructed

    If you’ve ever read the Song of Solomon in the bible—a love poem between two lovers—then you’ve read one of the weirdest books ever. The way the woman is described makes her sound like something only H.P. Lovecraft could conceive of. In fact, this guy may have been writing about Cthulhu. If I told my…

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    Davezilla

  • More people we can safely dislike #22

    Oh man. I have been subjected to appalling grammar this week. I want to put these folks under citizens arrest … for the murder of the English language! People who say “360°” when they meant “180°,” as in “His attitude went 360°.” That doesn’t mean he changed his attitude. That means it’s right back where…

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    Davezilla