I Don’t Have Any Pants, So I Might As Well … Dance?
Last night before I decided to go to bed I happened to scroll through my amazingly cool satellite provider to see what was on (I like to leave the tv on to help me fall asleep so I can wake up four hours later, supremely irritated at whatever is now on, turn the television off with a grunt, and flop over to the other side of the bed).
Lo and behold, a movie that I distinctly remember as being one hell of a good watch. I mean, Tom Cruise and Rebecca deMornay banging on a subway train? Pimps? Hooker house?
I am, of course, talking about Risky Business. The premise is simple. Parents go away, straight-A uptight Republican kid goes kinda batshit, has a bunch of parties, turns his house into a brothel, gets into it with a pimp, all that shit. I mean, when my parents went away for vacation, that is so totally the first thing I did, right after building an atomic bomb in the garage.
The following scene is one of the most well-known from the movie:
So you’ve noticed some changes
And no, I am not done. This is a work in progress. I still have several tweaks to make, features to add and suggestions to implement. Trish gave me a great suggestion last night that I will definitely be adding: making this featured article appear in its entirety on the homepage, rather than having to click through. I also plan to add back in the quoting function (currently it's not compatible with what I have, so I have some PHP to write). I will be adding polls again A whole new set of smilies to add to your comments How…
Are you eating feet again?
Certain foods smell great if you're the one cooking or eating them, but if someone else is—”particularly at work—”they smell vile. Others only smell good at certain times of the day. Some examples: Chicken Soup: If it's yours, it's comfort food. If someone else has it, it smells like a frat boy's fungused feet. Curry: Delicious if it's yours. Burning dog fur if in the office. Parmesan Cheese: Toothsome on pasta. Cat pee on the nostrils. Roasted Garlic: Mouth-watering if you're the one roasting it. In someone else's home, you'd swear the Montauk Monster was rotting in their refrigerator. Popcorn:…
Pull all the way up to the light, sir.
I don't understand the motive. We all drive up to traffic lights every day, yet some individuals in our society seem to feel compelled to turn this simple act into a plea for attention, by stopping 23 meters behind the previous car. Perhaps Mumsy didn't give them enough love. Perhaps they were picked last for kickball too many times. Now they find the only power they wield is at the traffic lights. You've seen them, too. You may even be one of them. If so, I demand you explain to the rest of us why you do it. Then we…
Freak Magnet Powers? Activate! Part 2 of 2
The very next night we had a lovely dinner in Royal Oak. Afterwards, I asked Lizz if she wanted to have a flight of wines at Vinotecca, a trendy wine bar in town. She thought that was a lovely idea and we sat outside on their patio so we could people watch. Our sommelier—in sharp contrast to last night's waitress—was a consummate professional. His knowledge of wine regions, local soils and minerals was peerless. After settling on a sinfully good Sauvignon Blanc from northern Italy, we relaxed. Then I noticed something behind my girlfriend's head. She was seated with her…
Freak Magnet Powers? Activate! Part 1 of 2
We went to our favorite seafood restaurant in posh Grosse Pointe (yes, the same one the John Cusack movie was from). A few minutes before our food arrived, two friends of ours showed up and pushed a table up against ours saying, "We're gonna to join you, m-kay?" They had just come back from a wine tasting and were fairly hammered. We said it was fine if they didn't mind us eating in front of them. Our food arrived just then. The waitress Our waitress was a 40-ish Asian woman named Mai who was a little too eager to please.…
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