Davezilla.com

Year: 2008

  • Caption Time #254

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  • One President to Rule them All

    Wow, I should have posted more drinking rules for last night’s Presidential debate. We could have been hammered from the following observations:

    1. One beer every time McCain said “My preciousssssss, I mean, my friennnnds.”
    2. One beer every time Obama ran over the one minute speaking limit
    3. One beer every time McCain hunched over and slunk around in the dark using his nocturnal vision to find blind cave fish.
    4. One beer every time Obama said “I have to correct the Senator”
    5. One beer every time McCain tried to steal the One Ring of Power back from his Master
    6. One beer every time Obama said “Tom, let me respond to that. I know, but let me respond.”
    7. One beer every time McCain led Obama to Shelob’s Palin’s lair
    8. One beer every time Obama said “Afghanistan, not Iraq”
    9. One beer every time McCain bit off one of Obama’s fingers
    10. What rules would you have added?

    Today’s post dedicated to Lizz. 😛

  • I can see your future, and it is…

    psychic

  • Caption Time #253

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  • VP Debate Drinking Rules

    Tonight is the debate between Vice Presidential nominees, Sarah Palin (R) and Joe Biden (D). It promises to be a bloodbath. Let’s all establish some drinking rules. Please add any I’ve missed:

    1. Debate Drinking Rule #1: 1 beer every time they interrupt each other.
    2. Debate Drinking Rule #2: 1 beer every time she mentions hockey, lipstick or pitbulls
    3. Debate Drinking Rule #3: 1 beer every time Biden’s eyebrows grow exponentially wider
    4. Debate Drinking Rule #4: 1 beer every time Biden accuses Palin of smoking crack
    5. Debate Drinking Rule #5: 3 beers every time McCain butts in and answers for Palin
    6. Debate Drinking Rule #6: 1 beer every time Palin highsticks Biden
    7. Debate Drinking Rule #7: 1 beer every time Palin screws up geography
    8. Debate Drinking Rule #8: 1 beer every time Biden mentions dangerous foreign nations he’s barely been to
    9. Debate Drinking Rule #9: 1 beer every time Palin says, “Ya know,” (via Vanderwal)
    10. What drinking rules would you add?

    Update: I am thankful I did not make rules for “Energy-producing state” or “Gee” or I would be dead from alcohol poisoning.

  • Caption Time #252

  • Horseshit?

    Some influential bloggers have been wafting back and forth as to whether or not McCain said “horseshit” live during the debates. I am offering up some possibilities. Listen to the audio yourself and decide then leave your translation in the comments, puh-leeeze.

    1. Horschack
    2. Shadrach, Meshach, Abednego
    3. Horse Radish
    4. Whore’s tit
    5. Hoary Marmot
    6. Attention Whore
    7. Morse Code
    8. A horse is a horse, of course, of course
    9. Palin’s Lipstick
    10. What do you think McCain is actually saying?

  • Bring it, bitch! Shit is on!

    bring it bitch!

  • Gumbolaya

    Me: “May I have a cup of corn chowder with that?”
    Waitress: “We don’t have the chowder today. We have Chili and Gumbolaya.”
    Me: “Gumbo-laya? Did you mean Gumbo or Jambalaya?”
    Waitress: “Yes, Gumbolaya.” [Lizz stares across the table at me, wide-eyed]
    Me: “OK, I’ll try some, if only to see what it is.”
    [Waitress brings a cup of what is clearly just gumbo.]
    Waitress: “How’s that Gumbolaya tasting?”
    Me: “A lot like gumbo.”

  • What?

    What?

  • Simple math

    Doug Henning + Gene Shalit = Android Boy
    (Based on yesterday’s post…)

  • Caption Time #251

    Caption Time #251