Osama bin Shoppin’
Image via Noel P.
Butter Christ
"We saw it on the way down 75 to cincinnati — glowing a warm margarine yellow in the late afternoon light. My camera was in the trunk so we all swore we would get shots of it the next day on our way back to Detroit. The locals proudly told us the landmarks affectionate name “Big Butter Jesus†—Chris Z.
Oh, Wikipedia. You so silly!
I looked up the definition of thong by accident (yeah, right) and found an interesting word as part of the definition: Thong underwear and swimwear is a style characterized by a thin strip of material along the center of the garment's rear designed to sit between the wearer's asscheeks connecting the front or pouch to the waistband behind the wearer.[1]
Mean things to teach third graders
Dogs lay eggs. Your parents hide them from you and you eat them on Easter. Clowns eat children. After your pointless birthday party, one of your friends will be sacrificed to appease them. If you don't eat your vegetables, you will have to stay in the third grade forever. Your parents only make you take math as a punishment. The only kids that can see Santa Claus are the ones who eat broccoli, rhubarb and spinach. Sixth graders learn to turn invisible in science class. Then they watch you in the bathroom. Diaries are closely monitored by the government. Everything…
How to drive a waitress insane
Order the identical meal as your friend. When the waitress puts them down on the table, give her a dirty look and switch plates, shaking your heads as if you've never seen anything so stupid. If the restaurant serves those deep-fried Twinkies (or anything similarly artificial), ask if the Twinkies are free-range organic. Both order identical stir fries. Complain that yours has fewer grains of rice. You counted. Order your grilled cheese medium rare. Order your pie "a la commode". Ask the bartender for a dirty martini, "but no raisins in it this time". Leave unusual names with the hostess…
Etiquette question
Here's a question. If you see a man wearing his napkin as a bib at a non-seafood restaurant, should you assume he is an adult baby? I do. My guess is that the makeshift bib is a signal to other adult babies and nannies that this restaurant is diaper-friendly. Just thrown' it out there. [BTW, today's link has been fixed.]
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