Where I was all weekend, Part I

08 July, 2008Posted inObservations, wtf18 Comments
Lizz and I took a much needed vacation up north this weekend. I had planned a month in advance to get a romantic Bed & Breakfast for the Fourth of July weekend. Sadly, my favorite B&B gets booked up three months ahead so I booked with another place. The week of, I got a panicked call from the proprieter who said she had just received my check that day. It was mistakenly delivered to the neighbor, who had never bothered to bring it over until three weeks later. Needless to say, she was booked solid by then. I made arrangements…

Soak Zone

17 June, 2008Posted inFreaks, wtf41 Comments
Lizz and I had sushi at a swanky jazz club last night. Seated near Lizz was a rather large and beastly woman. Midway through her meal, the woman sneezed. And what a sneeze! She attempted to cover her mouth, but this only succeeded in deflecting the spray that was to come into cone-like soak zone, similar to those one encounters at zoological parks. One second after the sound of the sneeze, a literal rain of sushi rice flew over our heads, one large glob slapping me in the cheek. It was one of the singularly most disgusting experiences of my…