Year: 2006

In the vein of Chuck Norris Facts, I bring you Angelina Jolie Facts After consumation of the sex act, Angelina devours her mates. Angelina Jolie’s doctor takes her temperature with a Kelvin thermometer. Angelina can start brushfires by walking across grass.* Dolphins and whales frequently beach themselves in an attempt to see Angelina suntanning. Angelina…

I have a life I like having a live girlfriend. I have enough problems of my own without worrying about an imaginary person’s problems as well My health care plan doesn’t cover “loss of hit points” I’d rather battle my finances than some orcs I like to think there is more to my fate than…

As if it wasn’t weird enough that scientists have been producing goats that give spider silk from their udders. Minnie and Nichole alerted me to two different articles on glow-in-the-dark pigs. It sounds like something a grandparent would say. “Yeah, that’ll happen when pigs glow in the dark.” viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic…

I have never pushed a hamster down a flight of stairs When people tell me they want to “think out of the box”, I want to seal them in an airtight one Coffee-drinking is the sport of kings I am no friend of the mighty woodpecker I often wonder if the spork has ever been…

My fingers are paralyzed and will never type again My eyelids are magnetized to each other I have not only read the same sentence eight times and still have no idea what it says, I remain quite convinced that it is changing meaning on me at will The cat is vomiting in my shoes. Wait,…

“Look! I Photoshopped what our future kids will look like.” “Is it OK if my little brother films us?” “Even if you don’t put out, I’m telling everyone you did.” “You’d better chew on this wolfbane, and here, tie this pelt about your loins. It’s … just a precaution.” “Ever done it with a real…