Year: 2005

  • Guide to Artists’ Models No. 5: Former Fashion Model

    The Former Fashion Model At first glance, the first year art student may assume the professor had brought a cadaver for the class to draw. Then the cadaver coughs, a miserable, cancerous cough that produces more than a few moths and dust. It is not a cadaver, but a former fashion model, driven to nude…

    Written by

    Davezilla

  • Notes to Self, No. 5,801, Breakfast Edition

    When making oatmeal, the required steps are: Boil water Add dried oatmeal to bowl Add the water to the oatmeal before eating viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female…

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    Davezilla

  • Guide to Artists’ Models No. 4: The Closet Pervert

    The Closet Pervert Possibly the ugliest known human (certainly the ugliest person I’ve ever drawn) is the Closet Pervert. At only thirty-three, he looks closer to ninety-seven, owing to chronic masturbation which has sucked away his life force. With his greying locks, he resembles one of the Founding Fathers, but as no woman in her…

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    Davezilla

  • Guide to Artists’ Models No. 3: The Hippie Chick

    The Hippie Chick Making a dramatic resurgence in popularity in recent years, the Earth Mother’s younger, inebriated equivalent, the Hippie Chick is a sight to behold. Or flee from. Look for silky hair, wavy, golden-red and reaching almost to the floor—and that’s just her armpit hair. Her skin is either sun-freckled or drug-acned, and I…

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    Davezilla

  • Guide to Artists’ Models No. 2: The Nudist

    Guide to Artists’ Models No. 2: The Nudist Second only in popularity to The Earth Mother, The Nudist is usually an elderly gentleman, with a silver ponytail collected from his few remaining strands of hair. His buttocks are withered as raisins and his hairy stomach hangs from him like a weaverbird nest. The Nudist loves…

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    Davezilla

  • Guide to Artists’ Models No. 1: The Earth Mother

    Guide to Artists’ Models No. 1: The Earth Mother The Earth Mother is probably the most common of artists’ models. A vast expanse of doughy flesh topped with a mop of unshorn hair, she is happiest walking aboutau naturale in the presence of young men. The Earth Mother feels it is her duty on earth…

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    Davezilla

  • If or if not my butt was pointy…

    From The Schoolyard Rhyme Project: UNITED STATES Baby, baby Stick your head in gravy Wash it out with bubble gum and send it to the Navy SOUTH AFRICA Yum yum bubble gum Stick your finger up your bum If it’s nice, lick it twice Yum yum bubble gum DENMARK Hvis og hvis min røv var…

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    Davezilla

  • OMGWTFROFLCAR!

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    Davezilla

  • Full frontal blogging

    What was your first experience seeing a naked person in a movie? Summer of ‘42, that was mine. I mean, that was the name of the film, not when I saw a naked person in a film. I thought Jennifer O’Neill was the hottest woman on the planet at the time. I was probably 11…

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    Davezilla

  • GAG, Inc.

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    Davezilla

  • Caption Time #78

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  • Radio Free Royal Oak

    Thursday evening yours truly was interviewed by the fine folks at The DropCast for an upcoming webcast about this site (I’ll link to it once it’s live). In a synchronistic turn of events, a smooth jazz radio station was broadcasting from the apartment below me. By broadcasting, I do not mean that someone had the…

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    Davezilla