Year: 2005

I am thankful that my family doesn’t make me eat tofurkey I am thankful that ferrets do not have opposable thumbs I am thankful that cars don’t run on pudding I am thankful that David Lee Roth is not a paramedic where I live I am thankful that my landlords chose lime and indigo for…

I do not own a waistcoat I am not a member of the Illuminatus I am non-stick and won’t fade in warm water I have never yelled at a Praying Mantis I detest gauchos, skorts and ugs Mice fear me I hold low opinions of the willfully ignorant I prefer beer to liquor and soy…

During a screening of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Natalie and I ended up sitting next to J-Lo’s hairstylist (or so he claimed). He also claimed (loudly) that he did hair for Natasha Stilwell, host of Discovery Canada’s Daily Planet show. His comments gave me weeks of material, but I’ve decided to condense…

If a joke had appeared here, what would it have been? viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra alternative…

Recently I was interviewed by the fine folks at The Dropcast. The interview is now online in three formats: itunes direct download and stream viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side…

Neighbor: “Crappy weather, huh?” Me: “Yeah, it sure as Hell is.” Neighbor: “Stepped in every gaddampt puddle tanight.” Me: “Oh?” Neighbor: “Yeaaaaaah. Went to the Mervyn’s sale. They’re going outta business.” Me: “I hadn’t heard.” Neighbor: “Oh sure, and wouldn’t ya know it? They were closed.” Me: “That’s a drag, eh?” Neighbor: “Yeaaaaaah. I really…