What I’m thankful for

  1. I am thankful that my family doesn’t make me eat tofurkey
  2. I am thankful that ferrets do not have opposable thumbs
  3. I am thankful that cars don’t run on pudding
  4. I am thankful that David Lee Roth is not a paramedic where I live
  5. I am thankful that my landlords chose lime and indigo for the hallway instead of magenta and olive
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  1. I wonder who was the genius came up with the “tofukey” concept.

    I am Chinese, and I have eaten a lot of tofu in my life. Why “tofukey” does not taste like “tofu” or “turkey”?

    I do have some friends that insist it is because “I have not had the good ‘tofukey’ yet”. Well, if anyone knows about where the “good tofukey” is, please by all means, let me know.

    Instead of having turkey this year, my family had roasted ducks.


  2. zack

    Ferrets with opposeable thumbs? They could so kick my ass.

  3. jeff

    :hurl:tofurkey is for real?

  4. Anna

    I get most of them, but what would be wrong with ‘the pudding one’?
    It would also have the advantage of people being able to have a foodfight while driving.

  5. Tofurkey? To-fuck-you!

    (From McSweeney’s Lists)

  6. Amanda B.

    I am thankful that Thanksgiving is OVER!

  7. Spud

    I’m thankful for the little things…

    a little nip
    a little more
    a little bit
    a little more…


  8. Amanda B.

    I’m thankful for the BIG things…

    A BIG bunch of beer to get thru the Holidays!!!!

  9. Craig

    I too am thankful that David Lee Roth is not a paramedic in my area. Could you imagine? “WOOOOOOW, you’ve had a heart attack bozy bozy bop diddty bop” “Hey man how’s my hair? You know i used to be in Van Halen, right?”

  10. Amanda B.

    The shock alone would send you into cardiac arrest!!!

  11. Mandy

    LOL @ Craig :kiss:

  12. i am thankful i’m not related to ant neo-nazi transexual ferrets with opposable thumbs.

    i think tofurkey was a big joke from those evil corporate people. they said “watch this we are going to make a turkey out of tofu and the stupid bastards are going to buy it. it’ll be like sega CD and MC hammer all over again. then we will laugh sadistic sinister maniacal but very jovial laughter:twisted: at those morons. they will by anything. god you remember new kids on the block:hurl:. hahahahaha.”

    leave me comments on my space if you want. i don’t have any because most people who read my blog curl u into the fetal position saying repeatedly “i am an orange. i am an orange. DON’T PEEL ME!”
    THANK YOU.:java:

  13. I am thankful that Paris Hilton has not reproduced.

    I am thankful for Brad and Angelina going overseas… far away from the U.S.


  14. I’m thankful for people who don’t believe everything they read. 😀

  15. Chelsie

    :wtf: You are a very interesting person and your site interested me. I will check it on a regular basis. Thank you for my daily entertainment

  16. mary_o

    :lol:thank you for the laughs and you are right! thanksgiving cheer and don’t forget the beer!!

  17. :undies: Wow, panties.

    I would rather have David Lee Roth being a paramedic than a singer. :hurl:

  18. Marcus

    Okay, David Lee Roth, ambulance driver? :wtf: I imagine he would sing to you on the way to the hospital. Knitted wedding link? Not that bad. I guess you could say they will live in “knitted” bliss. I guess they really tied the “knot” :lol::grin: good one Craig:smile:

    Now, my list. I am …

    1. Thankful that I always have something to smoke after all I am smoking something and freely admit.
    2. Thankful that cats land on four feet:oops:
    3. Thankful that my head hasn’t fallen off
    4. Thankful that people forget my name
    5. Thankful that the police accept bribes here.
    6. Thankful that no one eats tofurkey, but they do eat a lot of tofu. If you know how to prepare it you say, “Wow what is that shit?!?”

  19. Christall

    THANKFUL—for the fact that i am able to be thankful.
    THANKFUL—that my mom and dad reproduced.
    THANKFUL—I can read…
    have a good day

  20. Heather

    thankful that no one drop-kicked anyone during our holiday get together.
    thankful that my uncle finally got those dentures before thanksgiving so i didn’t have to see him gum his turkey and slobber everywhere.

  21. mitch

    I’m thankful that my genital warts have cleared up before I had to tell my wife and girlfriend. Whew!!!!

  22. Cody

    I’m thankfull for white women and watermelon!:lol:

  23. cody

    i am thankful for the ability to talk and reason with other human beings. not thankful for the result of losing my girlfriend. darn it. i really liked this one.

  24. Paige

    Im thankful that Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey have finally split up!!!!And Im also thankful that they did not reproduce. Stupid people shouldnt breed:limp:

  25. Buffy

    i’m thankful that my thanksgiving nightmare is over!:dead::dead:

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