Tag: Observations

  • Saucy Wench?

    I got to thinking about how people name their boats and wondered if I had a boat, what would I name it? Here’s some suggestions I recommend avoiding at all costs: Sea Maiden’s Drool Bucket Ocean Loaf Cthulhu’s Tantrum Paris Hilton’s Bikini Jimmy Hoffa’s Coffin River Chunk Leaky Heap Wet Bastard Peanutbutter and Jellyfish The…

  • Have a Coke and a smile

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  • Fun with Shopping Carts

    Owing to some past-life, seventh generation Irish curse, I have been destined to tarry on this earth forever branded as the poor soul with the squeaky shopping cart. It never fails. I test and experiment, to the dismay and amusement of other savvy shoppers, but always end up with the cart that sounds like a…

  • The Collect Call of Cthulhu

    Yoggy Yog: Yo man, pick up the phone. Pick up the phooooone, bitch. … C’mon, you squid-lookin’ muthafuckah. Pick up the damn phone! Operator: Collect call from … Snoop Yoggy Yog? Uh, for Mister Keth-uh-loo? Do you accept the charges? Cthulhu: The Hells you want? Yoggy Yog: Shut it, fool. Where’s my CD, beyotch? Cthulhu:…

  • Notes to self: 4,705-4,709

    Do not rub eyes after using the kitchen sponge. Do not look at the hot secretary while walking towards the heavy glass door. Check your zipper before meeting new clients. 😳 No matter how tempting or funny it seems, do not put tortilla chips on the cats’ heads. They will wait until lights out and…

  • Blame it on Rhea

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  • Overheard: Victoria’s Secret Edition

    I went to Victoria’s Secret with my friend Lisa on Saturday. Long story. Cut to the chase. VS is a pretty good place to hear some interesting conversations. Mother: I can’t believe you wore that yellow skirt to the mall. [Daughter is around 15 and wearing a thin yellow mini] I can see your thong…

  • Thinking outloud

    Do you think there are any hot babes along the International Date Line? Is it possible to truly have civil disobedience? I buy plenty of finger food, but my hands just never seem hungry. Tuber is one of the silliest words in the English language. Say it outloud about ten or eleven times and you’ll…

  • “No, George! That’s not what I meant…”

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  • Have a drink on me

    The next time you’re at a drinking establishment and are being served by someone who is obviously new to the job, have a little fun with your order by asking for drinks that sound real, but aren’t. Rum and E. coli Toejito Muddy Mary Rhubarb Margarita Dead Russian Boilmaker Mold Fashioned Phillips Head Screwdriver Piñata…

  • It’s baddass with the butterfly

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  • Enough said

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