Tag: Observations
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Horror Films that Never Made it to the Big Screen
An American Hamster in London The Texas Pencil Sharpener Massacre A Sort of Bad Dream on Elm Street I Spit on Your Sidewalk Invasion of the Bagel Snatchers The Yapping Night of the Living Slackers HeckBoy The Flair Pen Project Dawn of the Bread I Walked with a Gumby The Evil Spread Silence of the…
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Anagram Interview: Ashlee Simpson
DISCLAIMER: Before you scratch your head or send me hate mail, please note that this is a fake interview. The answers were created by rearranging the letters in Ashlee Simpson [anagramming].
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Performance
No doubt you’ve seen television commercials for impotence and “male enhancement” drugs, such as Viagra or Enzyte. There is a constant reference to “performance”. As if your penis is auditioning for the Theatre of Epidaurus in the Stanislavski Method. I can almost picture the inner workings of the penis’ mind as it prepares for its…
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Creepy things to call your lover
From Davezilla: My little pancake of pleasure My sweet love salamander My festering kraken of love My thumbtack of desire My little Vaseline vixen My beautiful love-turnip My little sugar booger My sweet love bunion My darling durian of desire You’re the stent o’ my heart From Natalie: My hairball of loveliness You’re my hard,…
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Bastards
There was a spamming attack on this site from midnight through 1am. Apologies to all who were unable to get through.
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Chew what?
Far be it from me to make fun of an international tragedy, but I keep hearing people struggling with the word tsunami. Ever since the disaster, I have been collecting all the ways I’ve been hearing it pronounced. Correct pronounciation: [ tsoo nä´ me ] Source: Webster’s toot´ suh nä´ me chew mommy shoe nä´…
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A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, “Ma’am,…
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Random Effluvia #47
The Japanese have very different outlook than the rest of us. This is a really bad name for networking software. Now you too can enjoy pole dancing in the privacy of your own home. Lions are smarter than you think Hardcore Morris dancers viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work…
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2005 New Year’s Resolutions
I promise not to roll my cats in powdered cheese. I will not randomly dial extensions at work and tell coworkers they’ve been let go. I resolve not to post any pictures of myself in a thong. I promise not to mistake cat laxatives for toothpaste at my GF’s house. I will not invite Shannen…
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Note to Self: No. 5,230
Do not let David mistake Phoebe’s cat laxative for toothpaste. Again. 🙄 viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra…
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Things that sound dirty, but aren’t
Snowfall Edition After a conversation with my new coworker Jim, I was inspired to rerun an old post on the topic: I got over nine inches last night. Man, that white stuff is covering everything. I can barely see my own car! I love when it lands on my tongue. Go on. Lick that pole.…
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Note to Self: 5,116
Do not touch black sweater with running electric toothbrush. Again. 😐 viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra alternative…
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