Performance

No doubt you’ve seen television commercials for impotence and “male enhancement” drugs, such as Viagra or Enzyte. There is a constant reference to “performance”. As if your penis is auditioning for the Theatre of Epidaurus in the Stanislavski Method. I can almost picture the inner workings of the penis’ mind as it prepares for its “performance”.

  • Brain: Are you ready to do this?
  • Penis: Not really, I mean, what’s my motivation?
  • Brain: Well, pussy. I thought that was obvious.
  • Penis: Of course. It’s just that …
  • Brain: Yes?
  • Penis: This could be the performance of a lifetime. I really need to nail it the first time.
  • Brain: Look, no pressure. Just get in there and act natural.
  • Penis: Natural. Yeah. I was thinking more like Brando in On the Waterfront. Real hard, like.
  • Brain: You coulda been a contenda.

Co-authored by Natalie

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Show 14 Comments

14 Comments

  1. Just…don’t let your penis yell, “Stella!”

    Especially when it’s not your girlfriend’s name.

  2. Anna

    “WE WANT MORE …. WE WANT MORE …. WE WANT MORE”

  3. Spud

    I sense a theme…

    😛

  4. mikeB

    Anna wants more penis. :mrgreen:

  5. Steppenwolf

    Brain: Just be The Incredible Hulk…and hope you don’t turn green afterward.
    Penis: Ok, shut up. I have a mind of my own you know.

  6. frisko

    I vote for MUSE sexual enhancer, staring “ugly PJ dude”. Any fella that is willing to use that stuff, and deal with the after effects makes me glad I am not a guy. For bravery alone he deserves to get his willie wet.

  7. frisko

    Lots of booze in those ugly living rooms. lol
    They needed it to deal with the decorators.

  8. VIE AY GRRR AHHH!

    What’s that? Never heard of it. Never needed it. Never will.

    It’s good to be the King. Especially when you have an all-day sucker hanging below your belt…

  9. ReV.JeLLyBaBy

    Despite Natalie’s “Streetcar Named Desire” musings I would just like to take this opportunity to announce my current status.

    I’m alive.

    Which at this point in time is a good thing…..unlike penis shaped chocolates which are bad.

    Unless your a penis shaped chocolate maker, which would mean that you are gainfully employed, unlike myself.

    I am now an “Unemployed” single Dad, after having my children “given” to me over the Xmas period by the powers that be.

    Not unlike Stacy I’m now offically on a break, as my “hiatus” is ill at the moment.

    But in retrospect, I’m actually quite excited about the whole thing!

    “Life is an awfully BIG adventure” said H. M Barrie. I’m not convinced, but then again……..

    Who is?

    😕

    Happy New Year Crew…..

    and may all your dreams be wet ones.

    :wtf:

  10. Mandy

    We missed you, ReV! :kiss::kiss::kiss:

  11. Esther

    Glad to have you back, ReV.:smile:

Comments are closed