Tag: Observations

  • Note to Self: 5,211

    The next time one of the cats demands roasted corn for dinner, avoid looking in the litter box. viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online…

  • Complete this sentence #20

    “The way to a man’s _______ is through his _______ .” viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra alternative…

  • Victoria’s Secret Holding Tank for Men

    When men take women to shop for lingerie, there’s one small problem. While you’re off in your cramped changing room, slipping into your flimsy underthings, we have to stay outside and look natural. As any man can attest to, this is no small feat. Try putting your hands in your front pockets in a crowded…

  • Note to Self: 5,201

    No matter how tempting it may sound, Lime-Shrimp flavored ramen is of the Devil. Run screaming. viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest…

  • Let the punishment fit the crime

    Carrot Top Carrot Top must be punished for being the least amusing comedian since Sheckie Green. His punishment will be to be buried alive with only his hair showing. Michael Jackson For years of being a spoiled, freakish, child-poking medical oddity, he must be surgically dismantled and melted down into candle wax. The candles will…

  • Etiquette quiz

    You’re dining alone, but you have multiple personalities. Is it proper to request separate checks? You’re performing an exorcism on your significant other’s mother. Is it socially acceptable to tie her down and gag her with duct tape? Your cable repairman has severe plumber’s crack going on and a receipt is wedged in said crack.…

  • Sigh…

    Is it too much to hope the cats won’t leave a hairball in my boots every week? viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra…

  • Hold the gravy

    I went to the cinema on Saturday and were perplexed by some of the foods sold in the Toronto concessions of late. Burger King? Taco Bell? Pizza? A bit messy in a theatre seat, don’t you think? Here are some other foods I hope will never be sold at the movies:

  • Overheard: Cass and Warren Edition

    Man 1: “Did you hear about that teenager who got hit by a car at Cass and Warren?” Man 2: “No! At Cass and Warren? That’s gotta hurt. Terrible intersection to get hit at.” Does it hurt less to get hit at other intersections? Teenage girl: “He thinks I’m impressed by his daring and vibrato.”…

  • Bleach won’t clean the mental stains

    Perhaps I’m just a bad man, but I still find it amusing when innocent people are put into terribly uncomfortable situations. Yesterday I had so much laundry to do that I decided to go to a laundromat and use those washers that are large enough to wash a convertible Mini Cooper. Two elderly ladies were…

  • Note to Self: 5,155

    The next time you hook up the portable dishwasher to the sink, make sure the hose is connected. The cats will never recover from the unintentional shower. viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for…

  • Complete this sentence #19

    “If I had a nickel for every time an alpaca stumbled into my _______ and nibbled on my_______, I’d have $17 by now.” viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects…