Complete this sentence #23

29 April, 2005Posted inObservations30 Comments
"If I had on a new pair of moosepants, I'd be ready to ________."viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra alternative to viagra buy generic viagra purchase viagra online free viagra without prescription viagra attorneys free viagra samples before buying buy generic viagra cheap viagra uk generic viagra online try viagra for free generic viagra from india fda approves viagra free viagra sample what…

Overheard: NPR Edition

28 April, 2005Posted inObservations22 Comments
Freak No. 1: I heared about the China folks making all the t-shirts in China for the US of A. Freak No. 2: What? Freak No. 1: I said I was listening to NPR. They had this thing about China. They make all the t-shirts for th' US of A now. All of em. Freak No. 2: For real? Freak No. 1: Oh yeah. This guy says, he says, "My wife work at the Wal-Marts and we is looking through the t-shirts tags and they all says Made in China, Made in Mexico. Oh, and this one British guy makes…

Things I would not want to find in Wendy’s chili

27 April, 2005Posted inObservations28 Comments
A webcam Weapons of Mass Destruction A tie-dyed poodle The Holy Grail Fermat's Theorum The Secret of Nimh Jimmy Hoffa's finger Rosie O'Donell's Flickr Account A rectal thermometer Wendy Thanks to Larfus for suggesting the topic.viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra alternative to viagra buy generic viagra purchase viagra online free viagra without prescription viagra attorneys free viagra samples before buying buy generic…

Note to Self: 5,310

26 April, 2005Posted inObservations16 Comments
Try to remember that "a little bit" and "extra" are relative terms and some people have different ideas about what they entail. At Subway, "a little bit" of mayonnaise apparently means "1.2 quarts" and "extra" jalapeños means "enough capsacin to choke a Mexican short order cook".viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra alternative to viagra buy generic viagra purchase viagra online free viagra without…

Stumpy McSpeedybottom

23 April, 2005Posted inObservations15 Comments
If I had a pet snail, I would feed him Chiclets. His name would be Stumpy McSpeedybottom. Unless it was a girl snail. Then I would name her Ben. He would wake me up every day at 6am for his morning crawl. We would read the newspaper together and I would wipe the slime from page 3A. In our retirement days, I would stare at the sun until my eyes had blue dots in front of them and his eye stalks dried out. Then we'd share one final ice cream and I'd pour salt on him and watch him quiver…

Complete this sentence #22

22 April, 2005Posted inObservations41 Comments
Pope Ratzinger's critics have dubbed him, "God's ________."viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra alternative to viagra buy generic viagra purchase viagra online free viagra without prescription viagra attorneys free viagra samples before buying buy generic viagra cheap viagra uk generic viagra online try viagra for free generic viagra from india fda approves viagra free viagra sample what is better viagra or levitra discount…

Note to Self: 5,300

20 April, 2005Posted inObservations17 Comments
The next time a part in the toilet breaks, just tell the building manager to fix the toilet. There's no need to explain that you've, "snapped the ballcock by pulling too hard on it.viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra alternative to viagra buy generic viagra purchase viagra online free viagra without prescription viagra attorneys free viagra samples before buying buy generic viagra cheap…

A theory

17 April, 2005Posted inObservations19 Comments
Look at several pictures of spontaneous human combustion and you'll notice one unifying thread: the feet never burn up. Watch any group of fire walkers and you'll notice that again, the feet do not burn up I think you know where I'm going with this. Feet are fireproof.viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra alternative to viagra buy generic viagra purchase viagra online free…

Top Ten Migraine Hallucinations

14 April, 2005Posted inObservations20 Comments
That Halogen high-beams have been stapled to my eyelids An Ivory Woodpecker has mistaken the left side of my head for an Elm Tree The pads on my cats' feet have been fitted with cinder blocks The sun is now one metre from my window That all food is made of cardboard, spiced with dryer lint The neighbour's vacuum cleaner is louder than front row at a Motorhead concert Tiger Woods is using my forehead for driving practice That Comcast's Internet service has gone out again—no wait, that one's real That someone is using a cheese grater on my cerebral…

Ugh

13 April, 2005Posted inObservations48 Comments
Terrible migraine. Can't see. May post later … :dead:viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra alternative to viagra buy generic viagra purchase viagra online free viagra without prescription viagra attorneys free viagra samples before buying buy generic viagra cheap viagra uk generic viagra online try viagra for free generic viagra from india fda approves viagra free viagra sample what is better viagra or levitra…

Note to Self: 5,290

12 April, 2005Posted inObservations22 Comments
Next time you drop buttered popcorn in a glass of Perrier by mistake, retrieve it within one second or pour the glass out. Blecch. Five second rule does not apply here.viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra alternative to viagra buy generic viagra purchase viagra online free viagra without prescription viagra attorneys free viagra samples before buying buy generic viagra cheap viagra uk generic…

Little-known facts

10 April, 2005Posted inObservations21 Comments
Pugs may appear to be friendly dogs, but at night they eat babies and mints. Benjamin Franklin invented the sigh. Ronald McDonald was based on a old Scottish faery tale. In the story, Ruach McDougall, was a sabre-toothed ogre who grilled ferrets and served them between two pieces of crusty bread. Prior to the Council of Nicea, new popes were chosen over a game of rock, paper scissors. Misery loves Company, but Company recently got out of a bad relationship and isn't ready for anything serious. viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra…