Tag: Observations
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If or if not my butt was pointy…
From The Schoolyard Rhyme Project: UNITED STATES Baby, baby Stick your head in gravy Wash it out with bubble gum and send it to the Navy SOUTH AFRICA Yum yum bubble gum Stick your finger up your bum If it’s nice, lick it twice Yum yum bubble gum DENMARK Hvis og hvis min røv var…
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Full frontal blogging
What was your first experience seeing a naked person in a movie? Summer of ‘42, that was mine. I mean, that was the name of the film, not when I saw a naked person in a film. I thought Jennifer O’Neill was the hottest woman on the planet at the time. I was probably 11…
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Radio Free Royal Oak
Thursday evening yours truly was interviewed by the fine folks at The DropCast for an upcoming webcast about this site (I’ll link to it once it’s live). In a synchronistic turn of events, a smooth jazz radio station was broadcasting from the apartment below me. By broadcasting, I do not mean that someone had the…
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Gorilla-like hair
Ever seen GLH? It’s been around for a few years, a truly frightening sign of the times. GLH is spray paint for balding heads. Nothing more. Somehow this is supposed to simulate hair follicles. I saw a man who had used this product. How could I tell? Because even at a distance of eight feet,…
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They’ve got the touch
There’s just something about a President that says sex sex sex. Even in portraits, Clinton seemed to reach out and touch his audience. Bush brings out the animal in others. viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra…
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Complete this sentence #26, Poetry Edition
I’ve never seen a purple ________. and hope I never see one. But with the ________ we’ve got today there certainly must be one! viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side…
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Halloween costume suggestions
Fresh out of ideas for Halloween costumes? Allow me to help: Ennui A Braille Newspaper The Grassy Knoll A Widget Aisle 14 of Wal-Mart Voicemail The Ghost in the Machine The Bell Curve Nepotism Schrodinger’s Cat Litter Box viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy…
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How to destroy your eyes in 7 simple steps
Get called to fly out fo state for work on a moment’s notice Stay up till 2am working on a new business pitch with your coworkers Deliver the pitch at the crack of dawn Fly home next to someone who is clearly wearing perfume as a body glaze Ensure that you get a seat on…
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Note to Self, No. 5,777
Problem: When I travel, or need to wear a nice suit for a client meeting, I somehow end up wearing my toothpaste as a fashion accessory. I can brush in the nude, then shower and still get toothpaste down my sternum. Solutions: Full body armour Cease brushing Hire a hot dental hygienist to brush for…
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Overheard: Cannibal Edition
I had to capture the speaker’s visage for you, dear readers, so you may avoid this person, should your paths ever cross. Not the best photo, but it’s at least recognizable. Man in photo: “I’m just saying… I’d eat a newborn if it came between me starving and that.” viagra free viagra buy viagra online…
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Story Problem
If Tom has three times as many testicles as Susan, and Susan has one-fourth as many ovaries as Joe, how many BBQ ribs does Mary have, if she has two more Ouija Boards than Tom?
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Overheard: Knock-a-tano Edition
Woman in line at Starbucks: “May I have a tall uh, that cararmel drink?” Barista: “Macchiato?” Woman: “Knock-uh-tanno?” Barista: “Macchiato.” Woman: “Tach-uh-nano? One more time please?” Barista: [sigh] “Macchiato.” Woman: “I apologize. Those Japanese names really throw me.”
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