Observations

Thursday evening yours truly was interviewed by the fine folks at The DropCast for an upcoming webcast about this site (I'll link to it once it's live). In a synchronistic turn of events, a smooth jazz radio station was broadcasting from the apartment below me. By broadcasting, I do not mean that someone had the stereo up. I mean the DJs and crew were having a party in the apartment directly below me. Astute readers will recall that this very apartment was formerly occupied by the Albanian Hyenas. While this in itself is an odd coincidence, it wasn't all that…

Ever seen GLH? It's been around for a few years, a truly frightening sign of the times. GLH is spray paint for balding heads. Nothing more. Somehow this is supposed to simulate hair follicles. I saw a man who had used this product. How could I tell? Because even at a distance of eight feet, in low light, his bald head was clearly spray-painted black. Unevenly, I might add. The effect was that of a man who was the victim of a drunken fraternity prank. The question to me is, what the hell does GLH really stand for? Surely it…

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Get called to fly out fo state for work on a moment's notice Stay up till 2am working on a new business pitch with your coworkers Deliver the pitch at the crack of dawn Fly home next to someone who is clearly wearing perfume as a body glaze Ensure that you get a seat on the sold out flight facing the setting sun Go from the airport straight to the optician to pick up new glasses, which incidentally, are your first time wearing bifocals Attempt to see viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap…

Problem: When I travel, or need to wear a nice suit for a client meeting, I somehow end up wearing my toothpaste as a fashion accessory. I can brush in the nude, then shower and still get toothpaste down my sternum. Solutions: Full body armour Cease brushing Hire a hot dental hygienist to brush for me. I'm not certain her being hot will aid in avoiding an oral mess, and … I believe I've said too much already Brush underwater Wear suits made from toothpaste. viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy…

I had to capture the speaker's visage for you, dear readers, so you may avoid this person, should your paths ever cross. Not the best photo, but it's at least recognizable. Man in photo: "I'm just saying… I'd eat a newborn if it came between me starving and that."viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra alternative to viagra buy generic viagra purchase viagra online…

If Tom has three times as many testicles as Susan, and Susan has one-fourth as many ovaries as Joe, how many BBQ ribs does Mary have, if she has two more Ouija Boards than Tom?

Woman in line at Starbucks: "May I have a tall uh, that cararmel drink?" Barista: "Macchiato?" Woman: "Knock-uh-tanno?" Barista: "Macchiato." Woman: "Tach-uh-nano? One more time please?" Barista: [sigh] "Macchiato." Woman: "I apologize. Those Japanese names really throw me."

Seeing an ambulance is very unlucky and if you see one, it's coming to take mommy and daddy away. Forever. A bird flying in the house means you won't have a birthday this year. If you blow out all the candles on your birthday cake with the first puff you will get your wish. If you fail, all your presents will be sent to starving children in China who will eat them. If your cheeks suddenly feel on fire, someone is telling your parents that you are failing in school. It's bad luck to pick up a coin if it's…