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Tag: Observations

Observations

Spa Day for Men

29 November, 200629 November, 2006

I was instant messaging with my dear friend Minnie, yesterday. She mentioned that she had just gone to one of those fancy, all-day spa treatments. […]

Observations

More people we dislike #13: Long queue edition

20 November, 200625 July, 2017

The earth mother who holds up the entire queue by taking 18 minutes to arrange her carry-on in the overhead compartment, and then complains that […]

Observations

Open letter to Continental Airlines

19 November, 200622 November, 2006

Dear Continental, First of all let me thank you for all the exciting new terms I learned this week, while traveling on your aircraft. News […]

Observations

Fashion Tips for the Clueless

13 November, 200612 November, 2006

For the Gents (written by Davezilla) Experimental facial hair will warm the jowls and frighten the fair sex. “Prison-bitch” pants went the way of the […]

Observations

How to speak in Programmer

10 November, 200604 September, 2014

When they say: “The SMTP mail server may be acting erratically today.” They really mean: “Turn me down for a date, will you? See if […]

Observations

Possible new jobs for Donald Rumsfeld

09 November, 200608 November, 2006

President of the Liars Club Hidden Mine Finder New Orleans Levee Inspector Internet’s First Spam Editor Toilet Paper Roll Holder for the Iraqi government Anal […]

Observations

What I hate when I have a migraine

07 November, 200606 November, 2006

Anyone operating a lawnmower, chainsaw, leafblower, snowblower, weed wacker; anything with a two stroke engine Anyone playing music I dislike Anyone with a brightly lit […]

Observations

Notes to Self, No. 6,230-6,232

03 November, 200604 November, 2006

If you think wearing all white will get you mistaken for the Michelin Man, try wearing a white ski jacket downtown No matter how high […]

Observations

What not to name your children

01 November, 2006

The following baby names are all unfortunately real. They get progressively worse. Precious Champagne Gene Pool Phred Brook Rainbow Trout Karizyma Cinsere Aryan Justice Lake […]

Observations

A hatred of Hummers

30 October, 200630 October, 2006

Picking up where a post from March, 2002 left off, Natalie and I decided to write new collective nouns for specific brands of automobiles. A […]

Observations

Notes to Self No. 6,227-6,228

28 October, 200604 September, 2014

The probability of spilling coffee on an expensive, white shirt is determined by a ratio of the cost of the shirt versus the importance of […]

Observations

More people we dislike #12

26 October, 200625 July, 2017

Clueless men who wear Crocs with business suits to work. This cannot be allowed to continue and I beseech all my loyal readers to grievously […]

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