I was instant messaging with my dear friend Minnie, yesterday. She mentioned that she had just gone to one of those fancy, all-day spa treatments. […]
Tag: Observations
More people we dislike #13: Long queue edition
The earth mother who holds up the entire queue by taking 18 minutes to arrange her carry-on in the overhead compartment, and then complains that […]
Open letter to Continental Airlines
Dear Continental, First of all let me thank you for all the exciting new terms I learned this week, while traveling on your aircraft. News […]
Fashion Tips for the Clueless
For the Gents (written by Davezilla) Experimental facial hair will warm the jowls and frighten the fair sex. “Prison-bitch” pants went the way of the […]
How to speak in Programmer
When they say: “The SMTP mail server may be acting erratically today.” They really mean: “Turn me down for a date, will you? See if […]
Possible new jobs for Donald Rumsfeld
President of the Liars Club Hidden Mine Finder New Orleans Levee Inspector Internet’s First Spam Editor Toilet Paper Roll Holder for the Iraqi government Anal […]
What I hate when I have a migraine
Anyone operating a lawnmower, chainsaw, leafblower, snowblower, weed wacker; anything with a two stroke engine Anyone playing music I dislike Anyone with a brightly lit […]
Notes to Self, No. 6,230-6,232
If you think wearing all white will get you mistaken for the Michelin Man, try wearing a white ski jacket downtown No matter how high […]
What not to name your children
The following baby names are all unfortunately real. They get progressively worse. Precious Champagne Gene Pool Phred Brook Rainbow Trout Karizyma Cinsere Aryan Justice Lake […]
A hatred of Hummers
Picking up where a post from March, 2002 left off, Natalie and I decided to write new collective nouns for specific brands of automobiles. A […]
Notes to Self No. 6,227-6,228
The probability of spilling coffee on an expensive, white shirt is determined by a ratio of the cost of the shirt versus the importance of […]
More people we dislike #12
Clueless men who wear Crocs with business suits to work. This cannot be allowed to continue and I beseech all my loyal readers to grievously […]