Fashion Tips for the Clueless

For the Gents (written by Davezilla)

  1. Experimental facial hair will warm the jowls and frighten the fair sex.
  2. “Prison-bitch” pants went the way of the Dodo. Take note.
  3. There is a fine line between looking ruggedly unshaven and looking like you’ve spent a weekend bender with Gary Busey.
  4. “Manpris” (capris for men) can only be worn by Belgian hairdressers.
  5. There is a finite limit to the number of clip-on electronic devices that you can acceptably wear, and that number is zero.

For the Ladies (written by Natalie)

  1. Only vagabonds and homeless are allowed to wear more than three layers at a time.
  2. Miniskirts with Uggs. Not in my universe.
  3. Pajama bottoms in public? You’d best be three years-old and looking for Mommy.
  4. Contrary to popular belief, men don’t find marabou sexy. Leave it for storks.
  5. Bubble skirts are for lamps, not legs.
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  1. Benendetto

    Wow you really can pluck your twanger and play with your balls at the same time.

    who would have thought of that 🙄

  2. Driver

    Dave I beleive thats Nick Nolte not Gary Busey , but still the photo makes your point quite well . ❓

  3. Spud

    Fundies would have been hot hot hot 20 years ago, now they just make me sad.


  4. For both sexes: Spandex is an evil plot by aliens from space to kill off our species by destroying all traces of a sexual urge.

    Dude jogged past me yesterday in spandex; he had an amazing four buttocks! All wobbling along behind him. 🙁

  5. [Comment ID #79965 will be quoted here]

    Odd. It came up under a search for Gary Busey. 😕

  6. the big T

    Guys your belly showing at the bottom of your shirt is NOT a turn on :limp:

  7. The fact that I only understand about half of the references in this post proves the old adage that ignorance is indeed bliss.

    How about wearing sunglasses at night or in nightclubs? That’s somewhat of an old chestnut for the fashionably clueless. Are the youngsters still doing it these days?

    Maybe Nick Nolte is doing a bio-pic of Gary Busey.

  8. Kangaroo

    FOR WOMEN : Size 40 women do NOT belong in leggings, if I want to see rolls, I will go to a bakery. FOR MEN: If I want to see your underwear, trust me, I will ask, GET A BELT.

  9. Kangaroo

    [Comment ID #79968 will be quoted here] I’m not sure, but I believe Busey and Nolte are interchangeable.

  10. Bigwavdave

    Guys: If you have to wear $100+ “sneakers” for god’s sake, tie the laces.
    Gals: Yes dear, that looks great on you…

  11. sledge

    Note all men and women,Please DO NOT WEAR CLOTHES 4 SIZES TOO SMALL You look like 5 pounds of sausage in a 3 pound casing

  12. Jason

    Ladies: If your belly hangs over your belt or you “have” to wear strechy pants, we don’t want to see your belly piercing below your too short shirt!!

    Guys: Brown belt with black shoes–“shame on you”!!!!!!!!!!

    :wtf: 🙄

  13. Guys: Unless you’re Nick Nolte or Gary Busey, don’t wear garrish Hawaiian shirts. Ever.

  14. Sher

    Banana clips and BIG cloth scrunchies for hair, there is no time machine to send you back to the 80’s when you leave your house!

  15. coley

    Gals- Your butt crack should not be seen by the general public. So regardless of whether or not you adorn it with rhinestones :thong:, keep it under cover.

    Guys- No white crew socks with your crisp business suit, and no dress socks at the gym. m’kay?

    Both- Bluetooth headsets are NOT an acceptable accessory to your outfit. In a bar or club who could you possibly be talking to??? No one could hear you anyway. So, unless you’re with the secret service, a headset in a social setting is ridiculous. 👿

  16. cbatdux

    I hate people.

    When forced to go out in public, I wear plaid and stripes.

    Works wonders….

  17. Raz

    [Comment ID #79981 will be quoted here]

    Or you’re in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. And even for that, you’d have to have a cigarette holder and the fisherman’s hat.

  18. Mandy

    [Comment ID #79983 will be quoted here]

    Agreed. I love wearing my VS :thong:s, but they don’t get to see the sun. What is UP witrh the Bluetooth headsets? I’ve seen some good looking men and then they turn and have the headset, and ruin the fantaasy. Sorry guys, I don’t date the Borg. :geek:

  19. Myra

    Love the comment about the Borg, in today’s techno society that is what we look like. Also sad is 50 something guys trying to look like 30 something guys and date 20 something women. Grow up and get a woman your own age for God’s sake, not your daughter. Do you all have Bill Clinton syndrome?

  20. For the ladies, a nice cheerleader outfit or nurse’s uniform will get you extra.

    For the gents, I really don’t care what you wear, I’m probably not going to do you.

  21. Mandy said:
    What is UP witrh the Bluetooth headsets? I’ve seen some good looking men and then they turn and have the headset, and ruin the fantaasy. Sorry guys, I don’t date the Borg.

    Can I get an amen?

  22. tattertot

    [Comment ID #79982 will be quoted here]

    OMG the 80’s ended????

  23. Ducatisti

    Young ladies that aren’t stick figures — here’s a fashion hint — when you’re trying on the size 2-small mini and crop top, don’t just stand in front of the mirror with your stomach sucked in – sit on the bench light up that cigaratte, relax and slump.

    Yea, that’s what it looks like to the rest of us.

  24. Someone once said:
    Spandex is a priviledge and not a right. And that goes for you male cyclists, too. For all that is holy and good in this world, nobody wants tickets to the gun show. Even if they’re free. 🙁

  25. thatonechick

    fat latina chicks that think they’re the shiznit and wear tight shirts with all their fat folls hangin out. that’s so gross ladies the ‘if ya got it, flaunt it’ does not apply in these siituations. and sorry honey, but just cause some STD ridden punk-ass bitch do you once, don’t mean you hot. so tuck that shit in and have some self respect yeah i feel better now

  26. [Comment ID #79982 will be quoted here]

    But, according to Cosmo, the 80s look is back. You mean I don’t look hot?

  27. Flash Gordon

    I see nothing wrong with ladies showing their butt-cracks, especially if they
    have shapely butts. I’m Bill Clinton and I approve this message. :wang: :wang: :thong: :undies: 👿 :kiss: :wang:

  28. Proud Goth

    If only more people would follow these simple guidelines. 🙄

  29. I’ll agree on facial air somewhat.

    Beards, from a women’s standpoint, are okay, within reason. Beards should be tailored, and trimmed and possibly require more time to maintain than just shaving would be… it’s a accessory, NEVER an excuse to not shave unless you are a mountain man on the run from the FBI.

Comments are closed